sex symbol extraordinaire mickey sorrow (michael sorrow, if you're nasty!) discusses bad sex scenes put to film (and digital) in cinema. there IS such a thing as a GOOD sex scene - but mickey doesn't know too much about that.

mickey knows absolutely nothing about superheroes and supervillains - outside of their stereotypical naming conventions. and maybe that's enough?

in this episode, mickey tries not quite his best, but certainly enough, to create new superhero, villain, and otherwise... other identities, based around the concept of people being named "[blank]man". ("blankman" would be a good one, but that one actually never comes up.)

today, mickey - with the help of google and top google search results for very specific questions - sets out to discover which video game glitches are scary (basically none of them), which video game graphics are good (basically all of them), and why he was introduced to "hellboy" as a young child (i mean, clearly it shaped him and all, but STILL).

do you like video games? you won't after this episode!

mickey pretty frequently finds himself in a bit of a bind...er. a binder. a chest binder, to be exact. but just because he does something frequently doesn't mean he's historically done it WELL. so let's explore mickey's best and worst attempts at binding!

while cooped up with COVID-19 (for the third time) a few months ago, mickey learned a lot - perhaps TOO much - about furry community drama. where does all that knowledge and information go? right into this episode of the podcast!

mickey discusses zoophiles (all of whom need to fuck off), nazi furs (all of whom also need to fuck off), and "ugly" fursuits (who are fine, bc mickey doesn't understand what makes them ugly bc mickey's not good at fashion).

mickey attempts to have a discussion on the idea of using media as a way of healing from trauma. mickey is overwhelmingly bad at having this discussion, as it's a discussion, and he's bad at those just generally. but idk, hopefully there's something worthwhile in there anyway.

mickey's a bit of an aficionado of car accidents, which isn't an area of expertise that comes without consequences! in this episode, he discusses why he's a bad driver, how he KNOWS he's a bad driver, what he hates to see in OTHER bad drivers, and how MUCH he hates to see other bad drivers. (spoiler alert: he really, REALLY hates it.)

mickey has seen at least one decent horror movie in his life - he actually mentions at least three in this episode! but, in the spirit of halloween (or in the spirit of spirit halloween, beloved halloween store that it is, though mostly unrelated, that's just fun wordplay), he takes a look at some of the worst-rated horror movie films of all time, most of which are boring and some of which... are hauntingly familiar!!

recently, environmental protestors splashed tomato sauce (juice? soup? whatever) on a van gogh - not even a particularly famous van gogh, which mickey feels qualified to say as the ORIGINAL art world terrorist. mickey used to work in a world-renowned fine arts museum, which is something even he knew he'd be able to bring crashing down one day... but they didn't have the decency to fire him once he finally did. instead, they put him in the punishment box instead...

mickey has decided that the only way to achieve true mickey-ness in this life is to defeat all other known mickeys. is it possible? no, the vast majority of them are actually dead. also mickey sucks as a person and when it comes to executing things properly. but it works as an episode premise!

but, while we're on the SUBJECT of halloween, mickey discusses the best halloween candies (all of them), the WORST halloween candies (none of them), and the best and worst halloween costumes (most of them).

in this episode, mickey tries to destigmatize periods, especially having periods in a queer/trans body. that's kinda high hopes for a comedy podcaster, but the secondary goal is to make you laugh & maybe roll your eyes, so hopefully that one goes a little bit better?

mickey has COVID, which is not a surprise. mickey's also vaguely aware of game shows, which is also not a surprise. is mickey able to power through the COVID brain fog to discuss the overall concept of raunchy game show questions and answers in a way that other people can understand? hopefully - but, if they do, it'll be a surprise!

that's where mickey comes in: reading off the majority of the official wikipedia list of sports, and determining whether they're good or bad based off of one feature and one feature only. if he can CHEAT at a sport, it's good! if he can't, that sport sucks ass. get the picture? (you shouldn't; as always, this is audio.)

mickey - hyped up on caffeine late at night, as always - discusses the concept of discussions, SPECIFICALLY in romantic relationships. why don't straight people talk to their partners? why doesn't anyone talk to anyone? why is he just some lone idiot talking into a computer? we don't answer most of that, but that's okay!

the other day, mickey accidentally learned about "jackass" smut. today, we shall all accidentally learn about ALL forms of real-person smut. why does it exist? no good reason. why are we doing this? an even worse reason. so buckle up!

join mickey as he ventures through the wikipedia list of worst songs and albums of all time, and forces himself to DESCRIBE them to you, since he hasn't figured out audio splicing yet. :')

...and plus, it's mickey reading ASMR - some sexy, some just... normal?? i guess?? - in his voice, which may actually be qualified as NSFL. we'd compensate you, but like... how, exactly? what payment would you prefer?

so mickey spills his guts & his pseudo-criminal past for your enjoyment. thank you and sorry. :')

mickey takes the time to crawl through the entire wikipedia page "list of video games notable for negative reception". mickey does this. mickey - who is notable for not knowing a single goddamn thing about non-dancing video games.

he technically has no place to criticize, but the fact that this list exists in the first place gives him permission! after all, if they didn't want dumbass non-gamer podcasters trashing their shit, they would've simply... made the games better, right?

join mickey sorrow, technicolor bad-taste extraordinaire, as he struggles with not knowing how to edit audio or discern good from bad - when it comes to fashion and interior design, that is!

but, if you DO happen to find yourself screaming, what's it about? is there ice cream to be had, perhaps? there sure is in THIS episode!

join mickey as he checks out the weirdest ice cream and popsicle flavors the first page of a quick google search can provide! are they edible? of course they are, it's ice cream. and if you wanted any info beyond that, unfortunately you're gonna have to listen in.

...it's also just completely possible that these pranks suck bc they suck. we're open to that, it's possible.

mickey, plagued by internet tabs of dirty trivia questions, embarks on a journey to reverse the curse of simultaneously knowing and not knowing literally any facts about america's second-favorite pastime, sex!

as always, support sex workers, believe survivors, allow people of all body types, all genders, and all sexualities to feel beautiful and sexy in their bodies if that's something they're into - and keep it all THE FUCK away from me! being sex-positive in the streets and sex-negative in the sheets is a tough act to balance, but somebody's gotta do it! or not do it! idk, i do it naturally, so like... it's happening, either way.

but, as far as this episode goes, our resident half-human half-horse beast of a host talks animals - including animals that can talk back! most of those animals have died, however, and are not available for comment, so unfortunately, like our other episodes, this one's all mickey all the time. a big canadian sorry to all... with our toebeans crossed behind our backs. ;)

mickey sorrow - noted failed comedian, noted prospective demolition derby-driver - discusses the joys of totaling a jeep cherokee (few to none) and the horrors of the needlessly-sexy bumper sticker industry (many. too many.)

why is everyone horny on main street these days, anyway?

remember the internet? chances are, you're actually using it right now - otherwise, how the fuck did you get here?

but remember the EARLY internet? yeah. a lotta people do. a few people are still trapped there, which unfortunately leads them to act out in destructive and inhumane ways, such as using creepy asterisks to roleplay in a way that only they can possibly get off to. don't believe us? *mickey finds the subreddit for it, fucking makes a podcast about it.* there. believe us now?

but, for those where those reasons DO apply, this episode's approximately one hour of mickey reading uncomfortable reddit posts from r/NiceGuys and r/IncelTear and, well, feel uncomfortable out it.

our evil himbo host doesn't have a heart but, if he did, it'd probably be at least bronze or some shit, i dunno. solid enough to make sure nice guy garbage don't get in there, at least.

this episode is about the flat - F-L-A-T, for our viewers at home - earth community, because like... how is that even a community? what're they up to? why does the earth get to be flat but my chest doesn't? these are the enduring questions, only some of which will be at least kinda answered a little bit. so stay tuned!!

retroactively published towards the end of august because mickey's a fucking idiot, this is his less-than-inspired take on christmas in july. from not understanding it, to not wanting to partake in it, to only wanting to partake in it if it becomes a satanist thing specifically, mickey charts the ups and downs of thinking about basically just a gimmick holiday that amounts to nothing and is of no substance.

much like the rest of the show.

so strap in!

the point is, today we're exploring the wild, wacky, and usually just plain weird world of dinosaur movies - not the educational ones. or the good ones. or any of the ones actually worth watching otherwise.

from brain-in-a-vat anti-solipsism scenarios to fucken straight-up slow-burn body horror transformations fer kidz(!!), mickey explores only the plots, acting, casting choices, and screenwriting bad enough the make the dinosaurs GLAD they're extinct.

in this episode, mickey speaks EXTENSIVELY on the subject of shit plays. you read that right (you might hear it wrong, but that's mickey's accent and he does address it in the episode). bad movies, bad music, bad TV shows, and even to some extent bad books have had and continue to have their time in the limelight - but bad PLAYS?! for the next hour, it's their time in an absurdly-dim spotlight. please hold your applause. ;)

blessed and cursed with a visceral (and NEGATIVE) reaction to even just the thought of PDA, mickey takes a cursory glance at popular dating game shows through the ages. do their premises set your heart aflutter, or give you straight-up heartburn? you don't get to be the judge, because if you did, then mickey would be outta a job and we don't want that!