Velvet Guillotine Soundtrack

Transmission

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:56:00 GMT

Édouard, a risk analyst from Liechtenstein, feeds his fax machine compliance reports. The recipients receive de Sade on letterhead no one recognizes. Séraphine listens. There are no victims. Habanera — seductive, lawless amorality. velvetguillotine.com

Arbitrage

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:55:33 GMT

Cassian’s mirror is front-running him. It knows the open of Tokyo. Séraphine listens. Lines disappear. Salut demeure — Faust’s prophetic vision of the future. velvetguillotine.com

Bidet

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:54:47 GMT

Monsieur Laurent’s vintage bidet has begun speaking in perfect 18th-century French. It only criticizes his sexual performance. Séraphine listens. The plumbing disappoints. Air des bijoux — glittering, vain, and cruelly elegant. velvetguillotine.com

La Pavoni

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:54:42 GMT

Julian hasn’t slept since his espresso machine started speaking Flemish at 3:33 a.m., whispering recipes for poison and repentance. Séraphine listens. The chrome reflects. Vissi d’arte — “I lived for art, I lived for love... and now?” velvetguillotine.com

Saint Yves

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:47:44 GMT

Colby returns. The toaster’s silent, but Saint Yves—his lilac-point Cornish Rex—is gone. Séraphine listens. The toaster smells of burning hair. Stride la vampa — a gypsy song about burning at the stake. velvetguillotine.com

Mitsouko

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:45:47 GMT

Camille cannot stop smelling like peaches since she stole a vintage Guerlain from a dead woman’s vanity in Provence. Her therapist quit. Her lover left. Séraphine listens. The peach ripens. Ah fors’è lui — the sound of stolen pleasure already decaying and becoming ghostly. velvetguillotine.com

Mea Culpa

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:43:09 GMT

Mireille, an ex-nun, believes her guilt is baking itself into her appliances. Every time she thinks of sin, her La Cornue range preheats to 666°F. Séraphine listens. The heat is not metaphorical. Le veau d’or — a blasphemous celebration of sin. velvetguillotine.com

The Humming in Room 3

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:39:53 GMT

Sabine, a former prodigy, claims her cello sounds G# only when she contemplates infidelity. Séraphine listens. The strings remember. E lucevan le stelle — a condemned man’s final memory of forbidden love. velvetguillotine.com

The Colby Crisis

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:26:38 GMT

Colby suspects his toaster is homophobic. Séraphine listens as breakfast becomes battleground: gluten, guilt, and the scorched word “SIN.” Air smells like burnt brioche and judgment. Vesti la giubba — the clown forced to laugh while his heart breaks. velvetguillotine.com