Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

Episode 67: Crash and Bottom Five Stereotypes

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 13:29:20 GMT

With Oscar season upon us, Mike and Jay revisit one of the most debated Best Picture winners of the modern era: Crash (2004), Paul Haggis’s ensemble drama about race, prejudice, and the tangled moral collisions of Los Angeles. Hailed in 2005 as urgent and important, and dismissed just as quickly in the years since as heavy-handed and self-congratulatory, Crash now lands in a cultural moment where its subject matter isn’t theory or metaphor, but headline news. Did the Academy get it right, or is this prestige cinema that mistakes volume for insight? After the main review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Stereotypes, spotlighting the most tired, reductive character shortcuts Hollywood keeps pulling from the shelf. Then it’s time for a round of Kick Two, Pick Two celebrating the career of Robert Duvall, before the long-awaited reveal of the listener poll results that will determine which Dueling Double Bills Mike and Jay will be forced to endure for the next episode. And the award for white-guy concern teetering on virtue-signaling goes to... Filmjitsu!

Episode 66: Blame it on Rio and Bottom Five Black Sheep

Sun, 15 Feb 2026 15:09:12 GMT

In one of the stranger twists of fate, Mike slaps Jay with the exact movie Jay had been planning to assign next: the sun-bleached slab of questionable ‘80s excess known as Blame It on Rio. The infamous 1984 comedy stars Michael Caine and was directed by Stanley Donen, yes, the very same Stanley Donen who gave us Singin’ in the Rain. This time, however, decorum is tossed aside in favor of ribald “laughs” and some deeply uncomfortable subject matter. Did Jay recoil at the film’s themes and its eyebrow-raising approach to teen sexuality, or is there some strange middle ground where material like this can be examined without completely torching the conversation? The guys dig into it during the main review, and afterward count down their Bottom Five Black Sheep, misfires from Grade-A filmmakers whose D-list efforts quietly lurk in the shadows of otherwise celebrated careers. The guys next play a heart-felt game of Kick Two, Pick Two honoring Catherine O’Hara, the eccentric and endlessly hilarious star of film and television who passed away in late January. Finally, Jay shifts the blame away from Rio and places it squarely onto Mike, unveiling his next punishment: yet another cinematic misadventure dredged from the bottomless pit this podcast proudly calls home.

Episode 65: As the Gods Will and Bottom Five Dolls

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 13:36:02 GMT

This week on Filmjitsu, Mike takes on As the Gods Will (2014), Takashi Miike’s candy-colored death-game nightmare where innocent children’s games turn lethally absurd in record time. Equal parts brutal, bizarre, and uncomfortably playful, it’s a film that dares you to keep up as the rules change and the bodies pile up because... reasons? After the main review, the guys unleash their Bottom Five Dolls, spotlighting cinema’s most cursed toys and plastic horrors. From nightmare fuel masquerading as playthings to designs that never should’ve escaped the prop department, this list proves one thing: if it has glassy eyes and a smile, it probably wants to hurt you. Then it’s time for Dueling Double Bills, as the co-hosts weaponize tangentially related films into a pair of competing double features and debate who understood the assignment better. Finally, the cycle of cinematic punishment continues when Mike reveals what fresh hell awaits Jay on the next episode.

Episode 64: The Postman and Bottom Five Jobs

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 12:38:03 GMT

On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike bludgeons Jay with a three-hour, brown-toned cudgel of 1997 prestige cinema called The Postman. Another Kevin Costner-as-savior slog, this one delivers its punishment via sheer runtime, self-importance, and, somehow, Tom Petty as the mayor of a post-apocalyptic city. After the main review, pack a lunch and be sure to leave ahead of traffic as the guys discuss their bottom five movie jobs, because somehow there are occupations worse than being a mailman after the end of the world. Then, in a moment of genuine respect amid the carnage, Mike and Jay play a Carl Reiner memorial round of Kick Two, Pick Two, honoring the legendary director behind When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, and countless other comedy classics. Finally, as always, the cycle of movie massacre mayhem continues when Jay reveals what fresh Hell he has waiting for Mike on the next episode!

Episode 63: 2025 Annual Holiday Special #2 - Love Actually and Bottom 5 Subplots

Sun, 21 Dec 2025 12:24:34 GMT

Just four days before Christmas, the holiday that somehow balances goodwill and rampant consumerism with alarming confidence, Filmjitsu unwraps its latest seasonal offering: a full review of Love Actually. Richard Curtis’s 2003 all-star rom-com is a film that lives in two completely different cultural realities at once: perpetually lodged near the top of “Best Christmas Movies Ever” lists, while also earning a permanent spot on more than a few “Worst Movies of All Time” rankings. And in true Filmjitsu fashion, the co-hosts are split right down the middle: one embracing the movie’s emotional generosity, the other recoiling from its aggressively cozy chaos. After wrestling with the film’s tonal whiplash, the guys count down their Bottom Five Subplots, side stories that feel less “interwoven tapestry” and more “air-dropped from completely different movies,” complete with crowbarred romances, third-act hijacks, and baffling detours involving everything from wolves to heroin. 2025 wraps with a final Dueling Double Bills match, and this time it's so high stakes that listener involvement may be unavoidable. It’s a merry-and-bright holiday special done the Filmjitsu way, which means no one gets what they want… except listeners who had cinematic suffering at the top of their Christmas lists!

Episode 62: 2025 Annual Holiday Special #1 - National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure and Bottom 5 Spin-offs

Sun, 07 Dec 2025 13:23:53 GMT

Filmjitsu rings in the holidays with Mike wielding a film as a deadly weapon that nobody asked Santa for: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure. A festive disaster more off-putting than kitty kibble fruitcake, and the guys follow it up with their Bottom Five Spin-offs, a rundown of the most unnecessary cinematic continuations ever inflicted on an audience. The co-hosts then return to their year-long Dueling Double Bills stalemate, with a special surprise teased if the tie survives until the upcoming “Year in Review - 'Jitsu Awards” episode. And because holiday vengeance is a Filmjitsu tradition, Jay ensures Mike gets exactly what he deserves—extending their yuletide punishment two episodes! It's all unrwapped on this episode of Filmjitsu: Wielding films as deadly weapons—especially the ones nobody asked Santa for.

Episode 61: 2025 Halloween Series #3 - Nekromantik and Bottom 5 Romantic Horrors

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 13:57:37 GMT

Filmjitsu puts a (fashionably late) final piece of candy into your Halloween haul with a review of the 1987 no-budget German exercise in poor taste, Nekromantik. Yeah, it’s about what it sounds like, and yes, it goes exactly where you think it will. But could anyone have predicted that Mike would react so violently to Jay’s cinematic claymore that he’d end up in the hospital? Mike recounts how this infamous slice of exploitation horror led to an actual emergency room visit before the guys count down their Bottom Five Romantic Horrors, a repugnant roll call of films that make love and disgust uncomfortably inseparable. (Spoiler: David Cronenberg shows up because of course he does.) As usual, things wrap with a spirited round of Dueling Double Bills before Mike reveals what’s next for Jay on the upcoming—and somehow still holiday-themed—episode. Yes, the podcast that wields films as deadly weapons has leapt straight from “Happy Halloween” to “Happy Holidays” faster than the seasonal aisle at Target. And honestly… what’s more hurtful than that?

Episode 60: 2025 Halloween Series #2 - The Final Destination Franchise with the Santos and Bottom 5 Deaths

Sun, 09 Nov 2025 13:07:46 GMT

The Filmjitsu Halloween train keeps 'a-rollin' with special guests Justin Santo and Diego Santo-Munoz who join their dad, regular co-host Jay, for an impromptu examination of the entire Final Destination franchise! From death by speeding bus to piercings in uncomfortable places, this horror-heavy episode braves some dangerous and bizarre twists of fate during the main review of every film in this storied series, before diving headfirst into an extended three-person bottom five roundtable about cinematic deaths! From decapitations to shark attacks, and tommy-gunning to scissor-suicide, the Santo clan keep the calendar page pinned to the last day of October! So put down those Hummel Christmas Dolls and re-light your Jack-o-Lantern, because at the podcast that wields films as deadly weapons, Spooky Season is over when we say it's over!

Episode 59: 2025 Halloween Series #1 - Tales From the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood and Bottom 5 '...Of Blood's

Sun, 26 Oct 2025 13:00:00 GMT

It’s that time of year again—the pumpkins are lit, the coffins creak open, and the Filmjitsu Halloween Series rises from the grave! In this first of three frights for the season, Mike hands Jay a slice of ‘90s pay-cable horror cheese: Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood! Starring Dennis Miller as a snarky private eye investigating a brothel full of bloodsuckers, this late-night relic from 1996 proves that not every tale from the Crypt was worth telling. Will Jay find pleasure in this neon-soaked vampire romp, or will Miller's painful wisecracks and the film's nonsensical plot make him cancel his HBO subscription? After the main review, the guys drain a few pints of creativity for their Bottom Five '...of Blood's, a gloriously stupid challenge where they take perfectly respectable non-horror movies, slap “of Blood” onto the title, and pitch their own horrific re-imaginings. From Drop Dead Fred of Blood to On Golden Pond of Blood, it’s a cornucopia of cinematic crimes against good taste! And because it wouldn’t be Halloween without a little extra mischief, the episode wraps with a terrifying round of Dueling Double Bills, where random horror picks force the hosts to conjure the ultimate double features from Hell. So sharpen your stakes, fill your goblet, and lock your crypt, because Filmjitsu is back in black (and red) for Halloween—and this time, blood is on tap!

Episode 58 - In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and Bottom 5 Kings

Sun, 12 Oct 2025 11:15:10 GMT

After many years of bad-movie watching, the guys finally make their way to Uwe Boll, the infamous shlock director whose career largely consists of nearly unwatchable videogame adaptations. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale was Boll's 2007 attempt at a big-budget, all-star adventure and Jay - on the advice of an old friend - drops this $60 million dollar bomb on Mike's head. As he's done with countless other terrible movies, from Cool as Ice to Coyote Ugly, will Mike be able to turn this cinematic pain into pleasure? Find out during an epic main review and stick around as the guys list off their Bottom Five Kings, a list of movie monarch malcontents that is sure to surprise. After a quick trip through the listener mail bag, it's once again time for Mike to exact his revenge, handing Jay not only a weird bit of movie mayhem but a special offering to mark the start spooky season! This episode's got everything - from Burt Reynolds choking out his agent to a rumor about Ed Begley Jr.'s BDE - so slap on some headphones and put on your finest leathers because a-dungeon-siegin' you're-a-goin' with the podcast that wields films as deadly weapons!

Episode 57: Wrinkles the Clown and Bottom Five Punishments

Sun, 28 Sep 2025 11:56:42 GMT

Tackling something entirely new for Filmjitsu, Mike slaps Jay with the huge cinematic tortilla that is the 2019 documentary/mockumentary Wrinkles the Clown. And Jay, mouth full of water and brain full of contempt, does his best to keep himself together while discussing clown fear, parenting and Inuit folktales. This is a weird one for sure, but the guys return to their usual shenanigans while counting down their Bottom Five Punishments, a collection of bizarre, frequently upsetting, and often cruel diegetic disciplines that include being slapped with a VHS tape, cursed with inexplicable paralyzation and forced to eat... chocolate cake? If that's not enough, during a raucous round of Dueling Double Bills, Mike and Jay pay their respects to Robert Redford while pairing some of his movies with the likes of... Shakes the Clown. It's clowns and punishment this week, a three-ring cinema side-show served-up with a side of Greek auteurism and the discovery of a 1981 nexus of talent! Step right up, folks—because this episode again proves the harshest punishment is usually just hitting ‘play.’

Episode 56: She-Devil and Bottom Five Team Ups

Sun, 31 Aug 2025 12:52:42 GMT

As "Hot Filmjitsu Summer 2025" concludes, Jay "Streep-slaps" Mike with the Meryl Streep grenade he annually pulls the pin on. This year Mike had to endure "She-Devil," a 1989 "comedy" about a housewife seeking revenge on her philandering husband by punishing the high-society romance novelist who stole him. Featuring the unlikely combo of Meryl Streep and Roseanne Barr as its headliners, "She-Devil" was the perfect choice to partner with the guys' Bottom Five Team Ups, a list of promising—or at least intriguing—marquee matches that wound up disappointing in some way. After the guys finish talking about everyone from Elvis to Estelle Getty, they take a moment to offer their respects to another great talent that recently passed with a game of Kick Two, Pick Two. And, as always, the cycle of mayhem continues with Mike revealing what Jay's next cinematic punishment will be.

Episode 55: Weekend at Bernie's II and Bottom Five Islands

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 11:23:56 GMT

Mike sends Jay back to the beaches of 1993 with Weekend at Bernie’s II, the definition of an unnecessary sequel that doubles down on absurdity by giving everyone’s favorite dead guy a tropical vacation, a voodoo curse, and an uncanny ability to boogie. Will Jay find the sun-soaked slapstick charming, or will Bernie’s reanimated antics leave them washed ashore in cinematic despair? After the main review, the guys island-hop through their Bottom Five Islands, a countdown of movie atolls, sand traps, and forgotten rocks that prove not all paradise is worth visiting. Then, it’s time for another heated round of Dueling Double Bills, where surprise titles must be paired with equally unexpected cinematic companions. Finally, Jay leaves Mike stranded with his pick as this "Hot Filmjitsu Summer" of punishment concludes. So grab your sunscreen, pack your conch shell, and remember: dead men may tell no tales, but they sure can ruin your vacation.

Episode 54: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Bottom Five Super Powers

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 11:01:57 GMT

As the 2025 version of Superman cleans up at the global box office, Jay sends Mike to 1987 to watch the most maligned version of "the man of steel" this side of anything Zack Snyder touched. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was Christopher Reeve's final screen outing as the character which began with the largely beloved '78 Superman. Will their respect for the actor's undeniable skill and charisma withstand a movie featuring "Nuclear Man" as its main villain? Find out in Mike's main review and then stick around as the guys count down their Bottom Five Super Powers, a list of extraordinary abilities they find anything but. After that, the co-hosts dust off Kick Two, Pick Two to pay tribute to one of Mike's fallen heroes, after which he wipes his tears by assigning Jay the next film that'll keep this "Hot Filmjitsu Summer" a cinematic scorcher!

Episode 53: Deep Rising and Bottom 5 Unintentional Porn Titles

Sun, 20 Jul 2025 10:34:06 GMT

After years of slapping Jay with a cinematic tortilla the size of a cruise ship, Mike shows mercy and assigns Jay a Filmjitsu-team favorite... set on a cruise ship. On paper, there's no way 1998's "Deep Rising" could earn a positive review, for not only does it have a title that makes filmgoers do a double-take, but it also has Treat Williams as the headliner and is directed by the guy responsible for "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." But in a "hear me out" for the ages, Jay—and Mike—explain why "Deep Rising," and indeed all b-movies, are worthy not only of your time, but your love as well! And speaking of love, how about that title!? After fawning all over, "Deep Rising," the guys list off their Bottom Five Unintentional Porn Titles, movies with names that make you blush when you mention what you were up late watching last night! After that, this saucy theme is kept alive during a game of Dueling Double Bills until, finally, Jay reveals what's in store for Mike on the next episode. So sit back and grab some lotion and Kleenex because it's summer and time to turn on Filmjitsu!

Episode 52: Left Behind and Bottom 5 Nicolas Cage Performances

Sun, 06 Jul 2025 11:10:14 GMT

Jay tests Mike's faith in, well... anything, by forcing him to watch the 2014 bargain basement Bible blip, "Left Behind" in which Nicolas Cage navigates both a plane and the apocalypse while trying desperately to keep a straight face. Piles of clothes and dime-store special effects abound, but was Mike embraced in a freeing, heavenly light or just left with an eternal laundry list? Find out during the main review and then stick around while the guys list off their Bottom Five Nicolas Cage performance, an array of eccentric on-screen (and perhaps imagined?) roles that the award-winning, much-adored actor simply couldn't pull off. After unlocking Cage's various national non-treasures, Mike and Jay play an end-of-the-world inspired game of Dueling Double Bills before Mike reveals what's in store for Jay on the next episode. So put on a pair of clean underwear and get rapture-ready because this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons is purely divine!

Episode 51: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and Bottom Five Bullies

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 11:00:21 GMT

After the latest "Sophie's Choice" listener poll crowned The Garbage Pail Kids Movie as the next cinematic abomination Jay must endure, Mike's laughter is only slightly less annoying than the fart-propelled, snot-faced, uncanny valley horrors on display in the film. Did Jay find the movie as upsetting as its reputation suggests? Find out by having a listen to the main review and stick around as the guys count down their Bottom Five Bullies, honoring the worst tormentors ever to terrorize movie screens. They also crack open the mailbag to catch up on listener feedback before Jay reveals what fresh cinematic hell might be in store for Mike next time. So plug your nose, grab some disinfectant, and join the dumpster fire that is Filmjitsu!

Episode 50: Y2k and Bottom Five Period Pieces

Sun, 08 Jun 2025 12:31:17 GMT

In this week's episode, Jay sends Mike back to 1999 with A24’s Y2K, a horror-comedy hybrid stuffed with glow sticks, AOL CDs, and the crushing weight of secondhand embarrassment. After Mike tries to make sense of weaponized nostalgia, teenage idiocy, and killer iMacs the guys count down their Bottom Five Period Pieces—a list of historical misfires and anachronistic abominations. Then, they battle in a game of Dueling Double Bills, where two surprise titles must be paired with perfect (or perfectly bad) companion films. Finally, Mike gets his revenge by announcing the next movie Jay will have to endure, ensuring that the war of bad cinema continues into the new millennium... or at least the next episode.

Episode 49: Sushi Girl and Bottom Five Meals

Sun, 25 May 2025 11:10:10 GMT

Jay takes a seat at the world’s most uncomfortable dinner party courtesy of Mike’s latest cinematic punishment: Sushi Girl (2012), a post-Tarantino crime flick where the tension is raw, the violence is extra crispy, and the titular sushi girl lies perfectly still while a bunch of washed-up crooks yell at each other in between flashbacks. Mark Hamill wonderfully hams it up, Tony Todd tries to class up the joint, and somewhere in the middle a rogue's gallery of B-movie/slumming A-list stars arrive; including Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey and Noah Hathaway, the now all-grown-up guy who played Atreyu from The Neverending Story! Jay tries to figure out if this is a crime thriller, a food safety violation, or both, and then the guys count down their Bottom Five Meals—cinematic servings of food so unappetizing they’ll have you reaching for antacid. And if all that weren’t enough to settle your stomach, the guys close out the show by paying tribute to the recently-passed Tony Todd with a memorial tribute round of Kick Two, Pick Two. So grab your chopsticks, question your life choices, and join the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons where, like sushi, revenge is served cold.

Episode 48: Coyote Ugly and Bottom Five Needledrops

Sun, 11 May 2025 11:02:50 GMT

Jay sends Mike boot-scootin’ straight into the tequila-soaked hellscape of Coyote Ugly (2000)—a movie where dreams are big, tank tops are small, and apparently all of life’s problems can be solved with a gratuitous bar-top dance number. Was egregious cinematic leering over Piper Perabo, Tyra Banks, Maria Bello and Bridget Moynahan enough to help Mike endure the twangy torment of this feature-length soundtrack commercial? The guys will answer that and ponder many other existential questions, such as "who cleans up this alcohol-drenched and glass-littered horror show of a bar each night?" After the main review, the guys pull out their Bottom Five Needledrops—those cringeworthy moments when Hollywood smashed the “play” button on the most ill-fitting, and often most-overused, songs imaginable. Finally, they wrap things up with a rowdy round of Dueling Double Bills, slinging movie pairings with all the reckless abandon of a bartender spraying down a row of shot glasses. So dust off your cowboy boots, leave your inhibitions at the door, and remember: this podcast doesn’t do water, and it sure as hell doesn’t do requests!

Episode 47: Rumpelstiltskin and Bottom Five Names

Sun, 27 Apr 2025 05:30:13 GMT

In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike drags Jay kicking and screaming into the twisted world of Rumpelstiltskin (1995)—a movie that asks the bold question, “What if a goblin got loose in 1990s Los Angeles and immediately learned to drive stick shift?” Between the boundlessly illogical plotting, endless baby screaming, and an ancient curse powered by hammy one-liners, the guys do their best to articulate a cinematic experience that feels less like a fairy tale and more like a cousin to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. After that, Jay and Mike count down their Bottom Five Names—a celebration of the worst, weirdest, and most aggressively stupid character names ever committed to film. Finally, in a heartfelt tribute, they honor the late, great Val Kilmer by playing a special round of Kick Two, Pick Two—pitting four of Kilmer’s movies against each other, with only two allowed to survive. So grab your favorite screaming infant, fire up your motorcycle, and join the fairy tale that somehow no one wanted—but everyone deserves to hear about!

Episode 46: Gonks Go Beat and Bottom 5 British Characters

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 12:33:25 GMT

If nothing else, after listening to this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, you'll wonder what Mike is still wondering: "What the fiznuck is a Gonk?!?" Indeed, what is a Gonk and why, in this 1965 concert film disguised as a sci-fi movie, do they go Beat? Jay had no idea when he assigned Gonks Go Beat for Mike to endure this week, but do either of the guys know now? Perhaps or perhaps not, but what they do know is their list of Bottom Five British Characters, a collection of across-the-pond d-bags that explain the Revolutionary War more than any history book! After their countdown, the guys play an English-themed round of dueling double bills before Mike slaps Jay with his next filmic facepalm for the next episode. REMINDER: We're in the midst of a Sophie's Choice poll—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide an upcoming cinematic punishment for Jay! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Visit filmjitsu.net to vote!

Episode 45: The Crow - Wicked Prayer and Bottom 5 Direct-to-Video Titles

Sun, 16 Mar 2025 12:07:25 GMT

In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike pulls out a Geneva-Convention-breaking offensive attack with 2005's The Crow - Wicked Prayer, the fourth movie in the original run of the "Crow" franchise starring Filmjitsu favorite, Eddie Furlong as a ghostly avenger in sad clown makeup. Jay dutiful reviews the film, trying to make sense of how it simultaneously has so much and so little on its mind and then the guys list off their "Bottom Dive Direct-to-Video Titles" in honor of all those movies, like this "Wicked Prayer," that didn't make it to the movie theater and, instead, crowd video shelves and streaming service menus.. Next, the duo nearly plays a round of "Dueling Double Bills" before Jay strikes back with his own cinematic counterattack, revealing the next episode’s review. But before the show wraps, a Sophie's Choice is unleashed—meaning YOU, the listeners, get to decide Jay’s next punishment! Will it be Street Fighter or The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? Cast your vote now at filmjitsu.com!

Episode 44: Cool as Ice and Bottom 5 Musicians Acting in Film

Sun, 02 Mar 2025 12:48:07 GMT

Ever wonder what happened to Vanilla Ice, the white-boy hip-hop "artist" who for a brief, horrifying moment, was the best-selling hip-hop act in the world? Yeah, well, neither did Mike, but thanks to Jay, he's been forced to wade through "Rap-Era Elvis" lore by watching Cool as Ice—a 90s time capsule that should have stayed buried. Can the guys have a compelling discussion about a film that all agree should have been left in the past alongside Z. Cavarrici pants and I.O.U. sweatshirts? It's tough work, but the main review leads to an inspired countdown of the guys' Bottom Five Musicians Acting in Film, where Mike and Jay talk smack not only about The Beatles but also The Rolling Stones! After stirring up controversy with some of the best-selling recording artists in history, the guys dig into the mailbag, where some Eejits revisit last episode’s Bottom Five childhood traumas. Then, as always, Mike locks, loads and fires the next terrible movie Jay will have to watch for the next episode. So, "drop the zero and get with the hero" by having a listen now!

Episode 43: Return to Oz and Bottom 5 Childhood Movie Traumas

Sun, 16 Feb 2025 14:14:51 GMT

In what Jay has claimed is the episode with "the best bottom five we've ever done," the guys tackle the often-maligned sequel to "The Wizard of Oz," 1985's "Return to Oz," starring Fairuza Balk in a vision of the Emerald City that gave most Gen-X kids recurring nightmares. Assigned by Mike, will Jay's viewing of this movie surface long repressed horrors from childhood? Well, if it doesn't, then both of our intrepid hosts listing off their bottom five child movie traumas most assuredly will have someone curling into a fetal position. When Mike screams "What in the name of bottomless childhood torment are we doing here movie?" you know a nerve has been struck! So jump right in, have a listen, and don’t forget to share the cinematic nightmares that haunted your childhood—misery loves company, after all!

Episode 42: Beverly Hills Cop 3 and Bottom 5 Eddie Murphy Performances

Sun, 02 Feb 2025 15:06:10 GMT

In this episode, the guys perform a Filmjitsu first, dedicating most of a show to a single Hollywood star when Jay slaps Mike with a sequel so bad it derailed a franchise for thirty years! But despite the movie being too little of a comedy to be funny and too little of an action flick to provide any thrills, "Beverly Hills Cop 3" is the perfect launchpad to discuss the career of Eddie Murphy (while also touching on the tailspin of director John Landis's career). In counting off their "Bottom 5 Eddie Murphy Performances," the guys observe the highs and unfathomable lows of the formerly edgy, foul-mouthed comedian who somehow ended up in a never-ending career detour of donning fat suits and making fart jokes. Mike and Jay next take their own detour away from Murphy by playing a quick game of "Dueling Double Bills" before Mike announces his revenge by revealing what Jay will have to watch next time. Because while "Beverly Hills Cop 3" took Axel Foley off the streets for 30 years, your intrepid bad-movie enthusiasts here at Filmjitsu know there’s no statute of limitations on cinematic punishment!

Episode 41: Thumb Wars & Bat Thumb and Bottom 5 Movie Gimmicks

Sun, 19 Jan 2025 11:53:45 GMT

There are two guys that host Filmjitsu, and despite the fact they regularly bludgeon one another with cinematic munitions, one nearly took on so much damage with this episode that the war of the worst nearly ended. Find out how two of Steve Odekirk's "Thumbation" movies—"Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle" and "Bat Thumb"—somehow managed to, despite very short runtimes, drive one host to audibly drink away his pain whilst recording (stick around for the outtake). And if that's not enough, the guys go on to list their Bottom Five Movie Gimmicks which are cinematic tricks and ideas that try to get butts in seats but instead lead to eyes rolling to the back of the head. Finally, the guys pluck two VERY random movies from the internether which they must immediately build two competing double features from in their own latest gimmick, a game called "Dueling Double Bills." All this plus one really killer intro kicks off the first regular episode of the New Year in enjoyably agonizing style!

Episode 40: Pretty Woman and Bottom 5 Beloved Films

Sun, 08 Dec 2024 12:07:55 GMT

When Jay unleashed 1990's much-loved "Pretty Woman" on Mike, he knew they'd be in for a discussion that might get them in hot water with the millions upon millions of viewers that label the romantic comedy a "classic." There aren't many movies that have appeared on the show that were, at the time of their release, NUMBER FIVE in the list of all-time box office earners. And yet here the guys are, checking to see if one of the most iconic love stories cinema has ever served up is actually... any good? If that's not a bold enough move, your intrepid bad movie enthusiasts next count down their Bottom Five Beloved Films, a list of popular, much-adored favorites that they personally cannot stand! As contentious and contrarian a list as could be imagined, Mike and Jay may well be daring the audience to use deadly weapons against them, but things become more threatening as each reveal a pick that's beloved by the other, resulting in some pretty hostile exchanges! Finally, the guys end the show on a happy note with some friendly messages from a few "Eejits," or fans of the show who sent in voice messages and emails, before revealing the film they're watching for this year's shared Christmas episode!

Episode 39: ThanksKilling and Bottom 5 High Concept Films

Sun, 24 Nov 2024 10:19:25 GMT

In light of this week bringing us a holiday centered around feeling grateful and counting the many blessings in life, Mike sets the Thanksgiving table for Jay with a real cinematic turkey: ThanksKilling, a festive holiday offering filled with raunchy comedy and dime-store gore! More nap-inducing than tryptophan, but infinitely worse for one's health, Jay scarfs down helping after helping of the misadventures of a reanimated killer turkey before the guys move onto an inspired second course—their bottom five High Concept Films. This list of elevator pitches gone wrong is bound to leave a bad taste behind, so Mike and Jay add a bit of dessert by pitting four dinner-themed movies against each other in the most diverse game of Kick-Two, Pick Two ever! So shut off the football and put away that pumpkin pie because Filmjitsu is bringing you some Wild Turkey for dinner!

Episode 38: 9 Lives (2016) and Bottom 5 Kids Films

Sun, 10 Nov 2024 12:00:28 GMT

As Filmjitsu exits the 2024 Halloween season and returns to its normal programming, Jay lands a cinematic haymaker by forcing Mike to watch 2016's "9 Lives," a dreadful children's film in which Christopher Walken turns Kevin Spacey into a cat who has to learn how to poop in a litter box or... become a better dad. Amazingly, this was made BEFORE Spacey became a Hollywood pariah, the circumstances of which the guys tackle head-on while wrestling with the age-old question "Can we separate the artist from the art?" But before everything gets too heady, they get back to business by counting down their Bottom Five "Kids Films" which include some stellar turds made for the whole family! After that, there's a quick game of Kick Two, Pick Two in which four outstanding children's classics dual to the death! Will "The Neverending Story" make it out of Filmjitsu alive? Find out now!

Episode 37: Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever and Bottom 5 Box-Office Bombs

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 10:39:31 GMT

On this week's episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike and Jay bring a nuclear arsenal of big budget failures, first by tackling "Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever" during the main review and then tallying their bottom five Box-Office Bombs. How big of a quality-crater does the infamous Lucy Liu-Antonio Banderas actioner leave when compared to the other megaton failures the guys have suffered through? Find out by giving the show a listen, then stick around as our intrepid hosts play an inverted game of Kick-Two, Pick-Two where four terrible movies are listed and they are forced to keep two when all deserve a permanent home in the Forbidden Zone. Also, keep watching this feed as spooky season is upon us, and the guys have some excellent upcoming horror-themed shows and interviews coming up!

Episode 36: Runaway and Bottom 5 Mustaches

Sun, 15 Sep 2024 13:20:37 GMT

For this episode, things get hairy... (literally?) with Jay hurling Mike into the far-flung future of... 1991? By reviewing the Tom Selleck/Michael Crichton sci-fi team-up that is 1982's "Runaway," the guys embark on a thoughtful look back (and forward), at one point discussing how technology was predicted to have evolved and how it actually evolved. But before things get too heady, they quickly return to their usual foolishness, comparing their choices for bottom five mustaches in honor of the iconic soup-strainer Tom Selleck is best-known for. And if a list of 10 bad cinematic cookie-dusters isn't enough, Mike and Jay play an epic game of Kick Two, Pick Two that pits four famous dental drapes against one another, with only two allowed to survive on the upper lip of film history. Will Kurt Russell's "Tombstone" mouth mane make the cut? Listen now to find out!

Episode 35: From Justin to Kelly and Bottom 5 Parties

Sun, 01 Sep 2024 13:16:00 GMT

As Filmjitsu Summer comes to an end, Mike delivers to Jay the cinematic C-4 explosive that is 2003's "From Justin to Kelly" starring Kelly Clarkson, thankfully in her first - and only - lead acting role. Stepping from the ashes of his lost summer watching horrendous dreck, Jay dutifully reviews this "musical romantic comedy" and manages to say some nice things, which is a bit like living through a blitzkrieg and complimenting the enemy for pretty-colored fireballs. Following the review, Mike and Jay offer their bottom five parties from movies and then play a popstar-filled game of Kick-Two, Pick-Two during which Jay is faced with one the most existential struggles of his life. Will he cast his beloved Madonna into the Forbidden Zone deleting her from history and future for all? Listen to find out that, and also what Jay has lying in wait for Mike's viewing displeasure on the next episode!

Episode 34: Twisters and Bottom 5 Guilty Pleasures

Sun, 18 Aug 2024 11:38:00 GMT

In this special episode of Filmjitsu, Jay and Mike record from the parking lot of the cinema after watching Lee Isaac Chung's "Twisters," a sequel of sorts to the much-loved popcorn flick, 1996's "Twister." Is pluralizing the original, charming, stand-alone disaster film and turning it into a franchise anything but a cash grab? The guys answer this from the confines of a 100° car and are joined by a special guest during their review! After that. grab onto something and get ready for a bumpy ride into a vortex of personal shame as your intrepid cinematic dualists return to the studio with their Bottom 5 Guilty Pleasures: personal favorite movies that are typically viewed as awful by critics and audiences alike. Finally, the guys tear through a guilt-ridden game of Kick-Two, Pick-Two before Mike unveils the next film Jay will have to suffer through. We're talking imminent rue-age!

Episode 33: Gunpowder Milkshake and Bottom 5 Gun Scenes

Sun, 04 Aug 2024 13:18:37 GMT

Jay tosses Mike an unloaded pistol in a cinematic firefight with 2021's "Gunpowder Milkshake," a CGI-stuffed, Netflix-distributed, fox-force-five-riff that gathers an astonishingly great cast and wastes them on bad fight choreography and a foolish plot. As part of their discussion, they tackle the pros and cons of both the film and the genre it represents; ultra-stylized, violent, neo-noir flicks like "John Wick," "Bad Times at the El Royale" and "Atomic Blonde," which Jay calls "Neon Gun Fables." Following the theme of these types of movies, the guys list off their Bottom 5 Gun Scenes and then engage in a bullet-ridden game of Kick-Two, Pick-Two where four movies duel for continued existence. but only two will survive! Finally, the guys unveil a surprise for their next episode that promises to find them in a bigger swirl of hot bluster than usual.

Episode 32: Jaws The Revenge and Bottom 5 Fourth Installments

Sun, 21 Jul 2024 15:18:51 GMT

If Filmjitsu is the podcast that wields movies like deadly weapons, Mike pulls out a cinematic neutron bomb when he forces Jay to watch and review, "Jaws The Revenge," the final sequel of the "Jaws" franchise that somehow manages to be simultaneously forgotten and a notorious flop. "Jaws 4" lives as a perfect example of this episode's Bottom 5 Fourth Installments list where the guys tally their least-favorite fourth movies in a variety of series. After debating the merits (and mere existence?) of the likes of "Alien: Resurrection" and "Vegas Vacation," Jay and Mike play a Summer Blockbuster-themed game of Kick Two, Pick Two wherein Jay immediately calls a much-loved 80's comic-book movie "trash." Make sure you're lathered up with plenty of sunscreen and check twice before getting into the water because when it comes to this episode of Hot Filmjitsu Summer: "This time it's personal."

Episode 31: Speed 2 - Cruise Control and Bottom 5 Replacements

Sun, 07 Jul 2024 06:35:03 GMT

Put on your life jacket because Mike and Jay continue with their summer-themed cinematic torture showcase with the 1997 debacle that is "Speed 2 - Cruise Control!" Mike weaves and bobs through his review of this sequel no one asked for with all the dexterity of an ocean liner controlled by Willem Dafoe while Jay laughs madly like the studio executive who greenlit this mess, his dreams of mad bank replaced by the reality that Jason Patric is no Keaunu Reeves. After the second-speed main review, the guys list off their bottom five "replacements," actors or characters in movies that replace originals in subsequent installments. Next, they leap through logic hoops to pick two Keanu Reeves movies out of four in a game of Kick Two, Pick Two that will make you go "WHOA!" Finally, Mike gets his revenge for having to watch the law firm of Bullock, Patric and Dafoe by giving Jay his movie for the next episode.

Episode 30: Blood Beach and Bottom 5 Beach Scenes

Sun, 23 Jun 2024 13:41:30 GMT

It's hot FIlmjitsu summer, and the guys are kicking it off with Mike making Jay watch 1980's "Blood Beach," a horror film that goes the bold route of blending the genre with... a dry police procedural? If a beach that eats people isn't your idea of a day in the sun, don't worry, the guys brought sunscreen and an umbrella as they count off their bottom five beach scenes! Finally, they chase that bit of summertime fun with a game of Kick Two, Pick Two where four classic, summer-set films go into the ring with only two allowed to survive!

Episode 29: The Fanatic and Bottom 5 Obsessions

Sun, 09 Jun 2024 11:15:49 GMT

Jay pummels Mike with the most painful cinematic weapon he's deployed yet: the 2019, Fred Durst written-and-directed disaster, "The Fanatic." A slog of a thriller that finds John Travolta playing an autistic man named Moose who is obsessed with a mid-tier celebrity, the guys try to understand why this thing even got made and discover... a Red Box connection? After reacting to Durst's direction and Travolta's haircut, they next count down their bottom five obsessions from movies and then play one of the most random games of Kick-Two, Pick-Two ever. where two of the four titles currently "Back at the Kiosk" at Red Boxes nation-wide get tossed into the Forbidden Zone, never to be seen again. Long live physical media (except those two!)

Episode 28: The Room (2003) and Bottom 5 Choices

Sun, 26 May 2024 12:43:19 GMT

Well, it's happened. The listeners have spoken and for Filmjitsu's first "Sophie's Choice" poll of its modern era, the winner - which Jay had to watch and review - was Tommy Wiseau's 2003 so-bad-it's-good cult-classic, "The Room." The victor "tore apart" John Travolta's "Battlefield Earth" in its head-to-head match-up, but the bigger question is, will the guys be able to say anything that hasn't already been said about this sex-scene-filled, football-in-tuxedos, jogging-in-San-Fran affair? They try, and then follow-up the main review with their list of bottom five choices, which occur both inside and outside the world of their movies, before playing a challenging "cult-classics" edition of Kick Two, Pick Two. Be sure to keep an ear out for Jay's shocking revelation about the birth of his first son, which either left Mike impressed or deeply disturbed!

Episode 27: Mamma Mia! and Bottom 5 Cringe Moments

Sun, 12 May 2024 20:44:31 GMT

In celebration of Mother's Day, Mike and Jay launch into a full-on, earnest review of the 2008 jukebox musical "Mamma Mia!" With a star-studded cast that includes Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Christine Baranski and Dame Julie Walters - as well as a few dudes with the last names Firth, Skarsgard and Brosnan - the movie concerns a bride-to-be on the eve of her wedding in a stunning Greek archipelago who invites three men to her wedding, one of whom is likely her father. Hijinx ensue, all set, for reasons unknown, to toe-tapping pop classics by the Swedish super-ground, ABBA, and if you're not "having the time of your life" by the end, in the words of Mike, you may be "a f--king ghoul." After recounting the joys (and a few pains - sorry, Pierce) of "Mamma Mia!" the guys list off their Bottom Five Cringe Moments in cinema, dedicated to movie moments of vicarious embarrassment, and then play a musically-inspired game of Kick Two, Pick Two!

Episode 26: Men and Bottom 5 Transformations

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 12:08:24 GMT

Tonight... on a very special episode of Filmjitsu, the guys grapple with their roles in the patriarchy after being exposed to the dangers of Alex Garland's largely-acclaimed 2022 gross-out think-piece, "Men." Will Jay ever be the same? Will Mike? Fortunately, these two clowns somehow are avowed feminists so... yeah, they might get down with the messaging of the film, even while suppressing urges to barf. They follow their wide-ranging, likely way-too-serious discussion with a sloppy and gross chat about their bottom five transformations before playing an equally moist game of Kick Two, Pick Two: Body Horror edition. MOIST. Ugh. What. A. Word.

Episode 25: King Kong (1976) and Bottom 5 Dangerous Animals

Sun, 14 Apr 2024 12:35:03 GMT

While the MonsterVerse has brought Kong back to movie screens, never was the big ape been quite as... horny... as he was in 1976's "King Kong!" And who could blame him because, well, Jessica Lange in her film debut is, as Mike puts it, "a smokeshow." But was Mike able to find anything else to like in this Dino De Laurentiis-produced big-budget epic rife with bad, yet-somehow-Oscar-winning, special effects? Or is this episode just Jay cackling whilst drinking Mike's tears, shed at the feet of another of Mike's favorite actors - Jeff Bridges - as he makes a terrible cinematic decision. Either way, the guys follow the main review by recounting their lists of Bottom Five Dangerous Animals before playing a King-flavored game of Kick Two, Pick Two.

Episode 24: Repo! The Genetic Opera and Bottom Five Musical Numbers

Sun, 31 Mar 2024 19:45:16 GMT

Leave it to the guys at FIlmjitsu to celebrate Easter and the renewal of Spring by reviewing a movie about organ harvesting! Having nothing to do with bunnies, eggs, baskets, or certainly anything that Jesus Christ would have died for, 2008's "Repo! The Genetic Opera" is a cinematic weapon that delivers more pain than crucifixion! As Mike cackles at the horror wrought, Jay attempts to limit the number of expletives to describe this musical from the "Saw" franchise's MVP, Darren Lynn Bousman, but likely fails. The guys then recount their Bottom Five Musical Numbers which include entries as varied as "The Jazz Singer," "Lady and the Tramp," "The Room" and... something from the "Star Wars" universe? If that's not enough, the guys play a musically-themed game of Kick Two, Pick Two that proves to be surprisingly challenging.

Episode 23: The Disappointments Room and Bottom 5 Rooms

Sun, 17 Mar 2024 11:18:56 GMT

Despite an 86-minute run-time, the Rotten Tomatoes 0% fresh-rated "The Disappointments Room" took so long for Mike to watch that we're pretty sure he's still locked in his own hidden loft where the only way out is to find one redeeming thing to say about the Kate Beckinsale-starring mystery-thriller. Meanwhile, Jay provides color-commentary on the career of director D.J. Caruso before the guys get into their bottom five rooms in movies, a concept that may seem less creative than it actually is, considering the directions they take their picks. After that, they keep with the theme of disappointments with a reverse game of Kick Two, Pick Two that forces the guys to choose two movies to keep out of four, all of which they'd love to send to the phantom zone so they could never be seen again!

Episode 22: Hardcore Henry and Bottom 5 Birthdays

Sun, 03 Mar 2024 15:53:48 GMT

Ever wonder what it's like to be the protagonist in a relentless, balls-to-the-wall action flick? Jay never did either! But Mike decided to make him watch "Hardcore Henry" anyhow. How did this 2015 low-budget first-person POV feature from director Ilya Naishuller ("Nobody") fare on review? Jay recounts plenty of blood, gore and exhaustion before the guys move on to their lists of Bottom Five Birthdays from movies because in "Harcore Henry," the protagonist... oh never mind. This episode's Bottom Five has nothing to do with the main review and instead everything to do with Mike who celebrates a birthday on the day of this episode's release! And if that weren't random enough, stick around as the guys play a round of Kick Two, Pick Two that's neither related to "HH" or Mike's birthday, but which may invoke a little deja-vu for frequent listeners.

Episode 21: The Avengers (1998) and Bottom 5 Agents

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 13:42:45 GMT

Jay drops a tornado-and-hurricane-fueled nuclear weapon of a flick onto Mike with 1998's "The Avengers," a startlingly slap-dash big-budget flop starring Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman and THE Sean Connery in a role that likely had a lot to do with his decision to retire from acting. The guys delve into the history of this bad-weather cinematic oddity-cum-remake-of-a-1960's British tv-show and try to unpack whether it's as bad as it's staggering number of Razzie Award nominations would suggest. After that, Mike and Jay list off their bottom five agents and play a great game for any rainy day, Kick-Two, Pick-Two!

Episode 20: Bratz and Bottom 5 Teachers

Sun, 04 Feb 2024 12:10:14 GMT

Mike brings out the cinematic equivalent of a katana to this week's episode with "Bratz," the 2007 young-adult(?) comedy/drama/toy tie-in that cuts deep with a sugary but very conservative mix of idealized teenage life and "acceptable" "cultural" and "feminine" "individualism." Can Jay survive this wholesome, hyper-cut mess? The blood-loss is real, but the guys manage to struggle through their list of bottom five teachers before tackling a round of Kick-Two, Pick Two that's aptly connected to the main review in a rather bratty(pack) way!

Episode 19: Glen or Glenda and Bottom 5 Misleading Marquees

Sun, 21 Jan 2024 14:34:41 GMT

Mike and Jay return to the usual Filmjitsu format with Jay hurling the grenade that is 1953's "Glen or Glena," the notorious Edward D, Wood, Jr. picture that revels in the pleasures of angora and monotonous narration. Is this a prescient look into gender identity, a lurid sensationalist cash-grab or simply inept filmmaking at its worst? The guys try to answer all this while also dealing with the presence of a seemingly stoned Bela Lugosi, whose top-billing in the film sets up the guys' bottom five misleading marquees. This list of the worst examples of cinematic bait-and-switch, where posters scream big names above the title when the talent are barely in the films, is followed by a cross-dressing-theme game of Kick Two, Pick Two that pits the likes of Robin Williams versus Tim Curry!

Episode 18: Kids (1995) and Bottom 5 Kids in Movies

Sun, 10 Dec 2023 12:53:33 GMT

What happens when Mike reaches deep down into the bag of the most controversial films in cinema history and withdraws a weapon so oddly jagged and dangerous that it might kill both Jay AND Mike himself? You get a full review of Larry Clark's 1995 slice of New York City life, cinema verite, "Kids" with some very surprising conclusions drawn. And because the guys are nothing if not predictable, they follow-up with a discussion of their bottom five kids in movies before playing a lethal game of Kick-two, Pick-two involving way more than just the usual four movies. This episode flouts the rules in every respect and earns it's "explicit content" badge with honors, so those with sensitive ears need not press play.

Episode 17: Home Team and Bottom Five Teams

Sun, 26 Nov 2023 13:33:04 GMT

Mike, after performing horribly in the annual bracket competition he helped create over at the Filmspotting podcast, is forced to watch "Home Team," a Happy Madison production that even Adam Sandler himself had the good sense to avoid. Jay's around to laugh at Mike's suffering, and then both share their bottom five movie teams which may or may not include flicks actually involving sports. Finally, the guys introduce a new segment to the show - "Kick Two, Pick Two," a debate where the merits of four thematically-linked films are counted out with the goal to keep only two, while the rest are sent to a cinematic phantom zone, never to be seen again!

Episode 16: Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol and Bottom 5 Cops

Sun, 12 Nov 2023 12:30:19 GMT

The guys get back to business-as-usual following their three-episode trek into Halloween-season-horror, this time with Mike tasking Jay with viewing the fourth movie in the "Police Academy" saga: "Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol." Plot-twist, Jay was a huge fan as a kid! Did his love of juvenile law-enforcement shenanigans carry on into adulthood? Listen for the answer, and for the guys' lists of bottom five movie cops which may or may not include a damning review of... "The Crying Game?"

Episode 15: Larger Than Life and Bottom 5 Sidekicks

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 02:02:12 GMT

Jay forces Mike to address the elephant in the room, or more precisely the elephant in Bill Murray's career, by assigning 1996's "Larger Than Life" as this week's main review. Does Mike send this pachyderm packing, or does he have a pocketful of peanuts? (Maybe he's just happy to see us?) Regardless, the guys then argue through their list of bottom five sidekicks before offering up some questionable staff picks and revealing Mike's cinematic punishment that Jay will have to suffer through for our next episode.

Episode 14: Knight Rider 2000 and Bottom 5 Cars

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 03:17:09 GMT

Unimaginably, Mike assigned a movie so terrible that it made Jay believe he'd rather be stuck in traffic. The movie? The failed pilot for the 1991 "Knight Rider" reboot: "Knight Rider 2000." With a convoluted plotline that mixes politics and mediocre muscle car stunts, "KR2K" - which is what all the cool kids call this one - is a special version of insipid blandness chock-full of bad science and worse acting. Luckily, the guys pump the breaks to allow some good movies to cross their path and their bottom five car lists save the day, as do a solid pair of staff picks. But what evil lurks in waiting for Mike next time? Listen to find out!

Episode 13: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier and Bottom 5 Gods

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 00:35:26 GMT

Mike boldly goes where he has never gone before in the fascinatingly awful fifth installment of the original Star Trek franchise, which leads to entirely too much giggling on Trekkie/Trekker Jay's part. The guys then count off their bottom five Gods, a listing of weak-sauce, evil and egocentric deities that's sure to cause a rumble or two of thunder. Will their houses still be standing by this episode's end? The only way to find out is to listen!

Episode 12: Brainscan and Bottom 5 Games

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 11:07:27 GMT

While Mike takes a blissful walk down memory lane recalling his early adolescent adoration of the 1994 cinematic abomination "Brainscan," Jay blubbers his way through a review of the movie, never quite leaving the fetal position caused by Eddie Furlong's acting. Can listing off their bottom-five games played in movies rebuild the guys' friendship, or was this act of Filmjitsu simply too deadly?!

Episode 11: I am a Ghost (w/A Ghost Story) and Bottom 5 No/Low-Budget Movies

Sun, 23 Jul 2023 23:08:04 GMT

In this episode, Mike goes into the deep waters of no/low-budget cinema where Jay holds all the life-preservers. Will he sink or swim while tackling writer/director H.P. Mendoza's "I am a Ghost?" Also in the mix is David Lowry's "A Ghost Story" which was assigned by Jay as a bit of contextual extra-credit due to similarities between it and Mendoza's work. Have the guys discovered a weird case of homage or possible plagiarism? Find out the answer, as well as the guys' bottom five no/low-budget movies and a few staff picks that prove Mike and Jay don't ONLY watch garbage flicks.

Episode 10: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Bottom 5 Diseases

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 02:33:09 GMT

Awards-bait isn't the usual kind of cinema Filmjitsu is known for, and films directed by David Fincher typically wouldn't be found around these parts either. Yet Mike shoves Jay in the curious path of "Benjamin Button" and as it turns out, yep, an Oscar-winner helmned by an A-list director can punish as well as grade-z trash. To double-down on the madness, the guys offer up their bottom five movie diseases, a list that includes films you'll expect and... a few you won't.

Episode 9: The Happytime Murders and Bottom 5 Puppets

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 02:03:03 GMT

After being tormented mercilessly by Mike with several crushing cinematic blows, Jay retaliates with a haymaker: Brian Henson's 2018 dirty-puppet movie, "The Happytime Murders." An uber-dud the likes of which few have ever seen, the guys try to rationalize why a movie like this even exists and then tally their bottom five puppets, which includes nods to the work of David Lynch, Peter Jackson, and... John Hughes?

Episode 8: Amityville 3-D and Bottom 5 Houses

Sun, 11 Jun 2023 14:05:12 GMT

Jay demonstrates the rule of diminishing returns when Mike challenges him to watch "Amityville 3-D," the tertiary installment of the enduring franchise that should have been put out of its misery after part two. The guys then go on to list their bottom five houses, a list that details cinematic homes they'd listen to when told to "GET OUT."

Episode 7: The Book of Henry and Bottom 5 Follow-ups

Mon, 29 May 2023 02:12:00 GMT

The guys go where no podcast should ever go, into the gaping maw of a tonally uneven whimsical-dramatic-comedy-thriller from Colin Trevorrow that may or may not have sunk the director's job as Star Wars Episode IX's director. As such, Mike and Jay produce a list of bottom five follow-ups featuring filmmakers who chased some of their greatest successes with some truly garbage next films. Coppola, Jackson, Reiner and Gilliam, we're looking at you!

Episode 6: Mandy and Bottom 5 Freak-Outs

Sun, 14 May 2023 10:57:59 GMT

Disassociated while lost in the hallucinogenic haze and violence of Nicholas Cage's 2018 flick "Mandy," Jay returns to Earth bitter, frustrated and out for vengeance himself. In turn, Mike giggles at Jay's pain like the title character at an exposed cult-leader's member. The guys then relay their bottom five freak-outs, a controversial list of filmic experimentation and intense over-emoting that includes Stanley Kubrick, David Lynch, and... Charleton Heston?

Episode 5: Knock Knock and Bottom 5 Male Superstar Performances

Sun, 30 Apr 2023 11:40:59 GMT

"Knock Knock," asks Jay, grinning. "Who's there?" replies Mike, unsmiling. "Eli Roth's 2015 cinematic disaster 'Knock Knock,'" Jay introduces. There's a pause while both hosts look for a punchline that proves to be anyone that has sat through this, perhaps Keanu Reeves's worst acting ever. Naturally, the guys chase this cinematic atrocity with a list of their bottom five male superstar performances.

Episode 4: Timecop and Bottom 5 Time Travels

Sun, 16 Apr 2023 10:00:24 GMT

Mike goes for the jugular and instead finds one of Jay’s sweet spots when “Timecop” in brought into the ring. The 1994 sci-fi adventure starring Jean Claude Van Damme is a lame-brained time-travel fiasco, but as directed by Peter Hyams, it’s not without its charms. That said, the guys turn their clocks back to look at some even worse chronological chaos with their Bottom Five Time Travels!See show notes and more at the website!

Episode 3: Out of Africa and Bottom 5 Romances

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 00:07:09 GMT

Going where no episode of Filmjitsu has ever gone, Jason curses Mike with the unenviable task of having to sit through the sprawling 1985 Oscar-winning epic, "Out of Africa." Low on shlock, but full of breathtaking cinematography, the Robert Redford-Meryl Streep-starring romantic drama proves to be at-once well-regarded yet nigh-unwatchable, unlocking a new level of deadly cinema: the boring prestige picture. All this leads to the inclusion of our intrepid hosts' bottom five romances!See show notes and more at the website!

Episode 2: Cats and Bottom 5 A**holes

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 21:04:54 GMT

The first proper episode of the new Filmjitsu finds Jay struggling with words and unsure of when to stop hiding from behind his couch after Mike dares him to view 2019's multi-Razzi nominated "Cats." Also, in honor of this grand cinematic achievement, Mike and Jay offer up their Bottom Five A**holes.

See show notes and more at the website!

Episode 1: Filmjitsu’s Return and Bottom 5 Reboots

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 20:35:40 GMT

The truth is, we’re not sure anyone needs more opinions from two middle-aged, average white dudes, but here they are. Mike has resurrected his monster of a podcast and with the help of new co-host Jay, explains why it has returned and offers up a Bottom Five Reboots/Remakes in the process!

See show notes and more at the website!

2025 "'Jitsu Awards" Year-in-Review Special and Bottom Five 2025 Hot Takes

Sun, 04 Jan 2026 13:15:30 GMT

Welcome to the 2025 ’Jitsu Awards! Every January, the fools behind Filmjitsu gather for a very special episode, where Mike and Jay look back at the 25+ terrible movies they endured in 2025 and attempt to extract whatever scraps of value remain. Will Nicolas Cage take home Best Actor simply for showing up in Left Behind? Can Roseanne Barr topple her co-star Meryl Streep from She-Devil for Best Actress? And what, exactly, will become of Vanilla Ice, subversive German necrophiliac satire, and half-naked women dancing on beer-soaked New York City bar tops? It’s time to find out! After (almost) all the awards are handed out, Mike and Jay unleash their Bottom Five Hot Takes of the Year—spicy opinions that frequently escaped their mouths before their brains could intervene. Then it’s time for a rousing round of Kick Three, Pick One, as the hosts crown the Best Picture they reviewed in 2025 from a shared slate of nominees. And finally, as tradition demands, everything ends where it always begins: one host wielding a film as a deadly weapon against the other, kicking off another year of cinematic blight. Happy New Year, Filmjitsu style!

Podcast Collab Special 1: Frankenhooker with Ross and Tripp from 'A Tripp Through Comedy' and Bottom Five Girlfriends

Sun, 14 Sep 2025 13:05:49 GMT

Attention Filmjitsu listeners! With no reason beyond a desire to watch and review a b-movie with a respected pair of other podcasters, Mike and Jay invited Ross Bratin and Tripp Burton from the movie-review pod A Tripp Through Comedy for their first Podcast Collab Special! And what movie could possibly warrant enough discussion for four film podcasters? Why Frankenhooker of course! This 1990 horror-comedy updates Mary Shelly's classic tale by moving it to New York City and filling it with hookers and "super-crack." Among Mike and Jay's all-time favorite b-movies, will Ross and Tripp be as enthusiastic about a film featuring the tagline "A terrifying tale of sluts and bolds?" Find out by giving the extended main review a listen and then stick around as all four hosts count down their Bottom Five Girlfriends, lists that have at least one heavily-debated hot-take as well as one unanimous pick! So put on your six-inch platform heels, don your best purple bra and get ready for 90 minutes of fun, because Filmjitsu and A Tripp Through Comedy are teaming up and asking you, "Wanna Date?!?"

Redux Part 1: The Alien Collection

Sun, 30 Mar 2025 11:28:51 GMT

Realizing that the basic formula of Filmjitsu is all wrong and that no one cares about terrible movies, Mike and Jay were removed by the powers that be and a new version of the show starts today! Welcome two new, younger, smarter, more handsome and less profane hosts who have turned the show into one dedicated to... good movies? In this episode, the podcast's new hosts, Jaytu and Dee, dive deep into the entire Alien movie series, ranking the films from favorite to least favorite while discussing themes and motifs of the universe along the way. If you're a fan of facehuggers and chestbursters, you won't want to miss out. Also, because it technically—for now—is still Filmjitsu, the newbies do their first Bottom Five list, counting down their least favorite (or scariest) aliens from all of cinema history! It's a new day for the podcast, and just remember, in space, no one will hear Mike and Jay scream. In fact, no one will hear from them ever again...

2024 "'Jitsu Awards" Year-in-Review Special and Bottom Five Movies Watched in 2024

Sun, 05 Jan 2025 14:42:38 GMT

Happy New Year, all you bad-movie enthusiasts! In celebration of the past 12-months during which the guys watched 25 mostly wretched flicks for the show, Mike and Jay are taking their second annual look back at last year's movie viewing highpoints - no matter how few and far between they may have been - and handing out the 2024 'Jitsu Awards for those moments and talents that made their main reviews bearable. Who will win the nine awards on deck, which include the usual acting and filmmaking categories as well as Best Stunt, Best Love Scene and Best Death Scene? Don't expect it to be anyone other film podcasts talk about! But before the guys debate their consensus pick for Best Picture, they provide their bottom five movies viewed over the last year, a list of ten movies that were truly deadly weapons that they ran into largely on their own! How two dudes running a podcast about terrible movies somehow manage to sit through garbage even when not watching stuff for the show remains a mystery for the ages, but hey... it makes for a heck of a fun listen!

2024 Holiday Special: Red One and Bottom Five Secret Organizations

Sun, 22 Dec 2024 12:50:32 GMT

Happy Holidays, ya bleedin' E-jits! Filmjitsu, your favorite bad movie podcast, is celebrating a few days off from work with... The Rock, Captain America, Joan Watson and J. Jonah Jameson? Yeah, while it was only in theaters for as long as if takes Santa to down a plate of cookies, Mike and Jay somehow managed to catch the Amazon Studios mega-budget action-comedy-Christmas flick, "Red One," a critically-lambasted mishmash of a "...Has Fallen" movie with, well, "Elf?" Did the guys get the coal they expected in their stockings, or was there a Christmas miracle that led to them liking the movie? Find out during their main review and then stick around while they list off their "Bottom Five Secret Organizations," a list of covert, usually massive, groups working under the radar of normal society to perform typically nefarious (and frequently absurd) agendas. After that, the guys try out a new game called "Dueling Double-Bills" which has them building competing double features out of two randomly-generated Holiday Films! Like every December, this episode is stuffed with revelations, disappointment, laughter and announced grievances, so have a listen while cozying up by the yule log this week!

2024 Halloween Super Special Part 2: David Gordon Green's Halloween (2018) Trilogy with JT Santo and Bottom Five Slashers

Sun, 27 Oct 2024 11:17:47 GMT

Filmjitsu wraps up its Halloween Season with the most Halloween of Halloween Episodes! If the past two special episodes spent interviewing Filmspotting's Josh Larsen about his new horror genre book and dissecting "Skinamarink" with filmmaker Dane Elcar weren't enough for you, the guys overdose on October vibes by tackling ALL THREE of David Gordon Green's "Halloween" movies in another super-sized episode! How does Michael Myers fare in these canon-busting sequels to John Carpenter's 1977 slasher classic? Probably better than Mike and Jay, who were so daunted by the task of watching these flicks that they enlisted another special guest: Jay's son, JT Santo. The three offer-up an in-depth look at this notorious series, then dive into their Bottom Five Slashers, a bloody array of inept, ridiculous and otherwise laughable killers littering horror movie history. Finally, the intrepid trio face off in a slasher-themed game of Kick Two, Pick Two; pitting four horror icons against each other in a battle where only two will remain standing. Collectively, Freddy, Jason, Michael and Leatherface's trademark masks and weapons have made it through 43 films, but will they make it through the podcasts that wields films as deadly weapons? Listen and find out!

2024 Halloween Super Special: Skinamarink and Bottom 5 Patience Testers with Brightwood Writer, Director Dane Elcar

Sun, 13 Oct 2024 15:05:50 GMT

Happy Spooky Season, Filmjitsu listeners! Following on the heels of the guys interviewing Filmspotting's Josh Larsen about his in-depth look at the horror genre, Mike and Jay again invited filmmaker Dane Elcar ("Brightwood") to join in on the holiday fun! The result? A super-sized discussion about the polarizing art-horror film, "Skinamarink." What will the three scary-movie enthusiasts think of this grainy, non-narrative mood-piece? Perhaps the episode's bottom five will lend a hint, as after the main review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Patience Testers- movies that have you watching the time more than the screen. Do you have Martin Scorsese listed twice on your bingo card? If you do, maybe you'll win a smashed pumpkin and a pocketful of linty candy-corn!

Interview 4: Josh Larsen, Author, “Fear Not,” Film Critic - Filmspotting and Think Christian

Sun, 06 Oct 2024 12:21:50 GMT

As it's Spooky Season, Mike and Jay recorded this bonus episode: a horror-themed interview with film critic Josh Larsen, best known as the co-host of the stellar film podcast "Filmspotting." Josh and the guys discuss his latest book, Fear Not! A Christian Appreciation of Horror Movies, touching upon matters of faith while also considering the redemptive - and not-so-redemptive - aspects of the genre. Why would a devout Christian watch (and love) movies like "The Shining," "Us," and "The Blair Witch Project?" Josh answers this question while weighing in on what he believes are universal aspects behind the effectiveness and enduring popularity of horror flicks. And if all that isn't enough, the guys get up to their usual tricks by presenting Josh with one of the toughest rounds of Kick Two, Pick Two ever. Would you be able to choose only two of your four favorite horror films, throwing the other two forever into the Forbidden Zone? Can Josh?

Interview 3: Virgil Cardamone - Mahoning Drive-in partner, film booker, curator & publicity director

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 13:06:41 GMT

In this special interview episode, Mike took a journey to one of his favorite places on Earth: Lehighton, Pennsylvania, home to the much-loved Mahoning Drive-in Theatre. This last-of-its-kind, old-school site is one of the only places in the United States where you can sit under the stars, munch on a bucket of popcorn and watch 35mm prints of classic films from decade's past on a huge screen. Virgil Cardamone, the drive-in's film booker, curator and publicity director, is among a handful of employees at this blast-from-the-past, and in a soulful, wide-ranging interview with Mike, he explains the Mahoning's history, it's deep commitment to community, the reason for its dedication to 35mm in an age of all-digital projection and some of the challenges the drive-in has faced in recent years; most notably the loss of master projectionist Jeff Mattox before the start of the 2024 season. If you love film, Virgil's own passion for the medium will surely move you... perhaps to make a pilgrimage of your own to rural Pennsylvania where you can find a good spot, camp out for the night and catch some of your favorite movies the way they were intended to be seen, flickering on a big outdoor screen.

Interview 2: Richard and Anastasia Elfman - Writer/Director and Producer/Star, Bloody Bridget

Sat, 11 May 2024 11:16:33 GMT

In this bonus interview episode, Mike and Jay jumped at the chance to speak with cult movie writer-director Richard Elfman ("Forbidden Zone") and his wife, actress and producer Anastasia Elfman, about their wacky, hilarious, gory and musical new film "Bloody Bridget." The film follows a murdered dancer who in the afterlife discovers she's a vengeful Celtic goddess with an insatiable hunger for human hearts. This leads to a gleeful murder-spree as the Valentine Vampire that's covered-up by her best friend, a gay, mute, Dominican dancer named Pepe and her lawyers. the yarmulke-wearing father-son lawyer team of Dershowitz & Dershowitz. "Bloody Bridget" is a hoot, currently showing on the festival circuit and in special burlesque screenings globally. Hear how it got made, find out what aspects of the story are allegedly true and see if Jay can go the whole episode without mentioning the word "boobs." (Spoiler: he can't.) The guys also force Richard and Anastasia to a family-themed game of "Kick-Two, Pick Two" where they must choose to keep only two of four iconic film scores by their brother, famed composer Danny Elfman.

2023 "'Jitsu Awards" Year-in-Review Special and Bottom Five Filmjitsu Moments

Sun, 07 Jan 2024 18:16:18 GMT

Looking back at their first year of watching horrible movies in this special year-end episode, Mike and Jay speak kindly(ish) about some of the 21 featured flicks wielded as deadly weapons in 2023, rewarding actors, filmmakers and artists with the inaugural "'Jitsu Awards." Who will get a case of "The 'Jits?" Well, not Mike or Jay themselves as they spend the Bottom Five segment tearing themselves to pieces while recounting their Bottom Five Filmjitsu Moments, which may or may not include a deeply passionate discourse on the physics of leprechaun penis eruption. FIinally, the guys wrap-up 2023 by awarding the Best Picture Jitsu via an epic round of Kick Three, Pick One!

2023 Holiday Special: The Mean One and Bottom Five Gifts

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 13:10:26 GMT

Mike and Jay get into the spirit of the holiday season with Filmjitsu first: a movie both had to watch and review. That movie? "The Mean One," a 2022 horror parody of The Grin-... um... you know, who absconded with that one holiday there with the trees, gifts and, yeah, you know. After retelling their tale of yuletide suffering, the guys then list their bottom five gifts (or presents, because gifts was too hard to say) and square off an epic game of holiday Kick Two Pick Two. Will "Mupper Christmas Carol" make the cut, or will it end up in a Christmas tree bonfire on New Year's Eve? Find out now!

2023 Halloween Special Part 3: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday and Bottom 5 Horror Franchises

Sun, 29 Oct 2023 23:21:28 GMT

The guys wrap-up the 2023 Halloween season with a third and final horror special! This time, Mike forces Jay to watch the ninth installment of the Jason Vorhees saga (which we're legally not supposed to call "Friday the 13th..." oops) and after weighing whether or not this is the worst of the Crystal Lake teen-slash-a-thons, our hapless heroes list off their bottom five horror franchises!

2023 Halloween Special Part 2: The Beyond and Bottom 5 Gore Effects

Sun, 15 Oct 2023 14:25:47 GMT

The guys continue celebrating the 2023 Halloween season with the second of three special horror episodes! This week, Mike attempts to review Lucio Fulci's 1981 gore-fest, "The Beyond," which - more than any other film wielded as a deadly weapon by Jay - left a mark due to some scenes of eight-legged violence. Will Mike be able to speak intelligibly about this cinematic trauma and then go on to list of his bottom five gore effects? Or will this episode just be Jay on his own, discussing Italian film composers, bad special effects and announcing a search for a new co-host?

2023 Halloween Special Part 1: Thirteen Ghosts and Bottom 5 Ghosts

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 13:49:31 GMT

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming - sorry "Police Academy" fandom! - to bring you part 1 of 3 horror-themed episodes centered around the reason for the season, Halloween! In this episode, Mike blasts Jay with 2001's "Thirteen Ghosts," the Tony Shalhoub and Matthew Lillard-starring dumpster fire that provides more headaches than scares. The guys then follow up with their bottom five ghosts list which oddly include movies by such heavy hitters as Tim Burton, John Carpenter, Mike Flanagan and Peter Jackson!

Interview 1: Dane Elcar - Writer-director, Brightwood

Wed, 24 May 2023 01:45:51 GMT

In this special episode, Mike and Jay interview guest Dane Elcar, the writer-director of the sci-fi-horror-drama "Brightwood" which has been making the rounds on the festival circuit. A mind-bending time-trip of a movie, "Brightwood" isn't the usual deadly-weapon fare featured on Filmjitsu and is instead a recommended indie that's sure to have viewers talking as the end credits roll. Its creator discusses the making of the film, his influences and what it was like growing up as the child of one of TV's most recognizable character actors, Dana Elcar.