Jessicunt and Kay discuss the unintentional science-fiction romance novel, Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. In an alternative timeline where Trump never tries to stomp out the last vestigates of US democracy, two cuties are gay for each other and fall in love.

You might not want to love this book, but the reviews are in, and it's actually pretty good.

DNC, please take note. The Democratic Party needs more anal sex!

At DTS, we've read stories featuring cute sex, fantasy sex, hard sex, and everything in-between. Volumes 1 and 2 of Money Shot make our previous reads seem chaste.

Read these comics to laugh, cringe, and have a jolly ol' time watching a group of scientists try to make a buck by participating in and selling tons of alien group sex.

...and you thought your relationships with your coworkers were complicated...

This may not be the romance novel you want, but it is the romance novel you read. It's time for class at the Zodiac Academy.

And Awakening is, like, full of every fantasy trope you can think of: vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, nymphs, elemental magic, tarot, and astrology for some reason. Sexy, rich white men do a lot of bad things.

If you read this book, please note that hat boy's name is DIEGO. He MIGHT be evil, but we don't know yet. Let's ask the authors so we don't have to read 9 books to find out.

As far as the smut scale is concerned, Our Infinite Fates: A Novel's score is abysmal. Nevertheless, your hosts chose to read it and at least one of them had a good time!

The story follows fates-crossed lovers through their many lives and grizzly deaths. This episode follows your hosts through their thorough discussion of the novel's plot and several debates on what should or could have actually happened in the story.

Join us for this not-very-sexy time warped book talk!

This book is about women in STEM: Sexy Titty-blessed Emergency-room-going Man-hating. (Sorry for that.)

We meet Bee, tiny, manic-millennial dream girl, and Levi, stoic and emotionally stunted science-jock. They're enemies, but wait! They're also in love. There are cats. There are outside feuds. There is a MURDER PLOT with an astronaut named Thomas. Copious diseases and mental illnesses abound.

No one in this book communicates, but that's ok, because that's what makes it good story telling, baby!

There, we read it. Toyota.

We did it. After two seasons, we finally made it to Fourth Wing, and it did not disappoint.

In this episode, you'll get love, loss, dragons, and family trauma. Death isn't the only thing lurking around the corners of Basgiath War college, and your hosts have plenty of thoughts to share on these characters and their magic in and out of the dorms. ;)

Strap into your dragon harness and have a nice ride!

Easter cums year-round for readers of this story, and it's shaped like peeps...but human-sized peeps with big ol' penises.

Join Jessicunt and K as they dive into this creamy disaster that brings to life candy, will make you laugh, and have you questioning what modern love can look like in 2025.

It's Bridgerton, Bitch!

Have you ever watched a TV show and thought, "Wow, I wish there was a worse version of this in book form?" Well, LUCKY, this one is for you!

The Duke and I is the boring story of Daphne and Simon. If you want smut, this technically checks some boxes, but feel free to watch the show instead. Shonda Rhimes, save us. (Though she doesn't spend as much time describing Simon's bed sheet kink.)

If you like boring, there is an entire universe of hetero nonsense for you to enjoy. Apparently Gregory's story is especially unhinged.

What do cannibalism, climate change, the Northwest Passage, and romance all have in common? The Ministry of Time!

In this episode, Jessicunt and K discuss the life and love (?) of an overworked British government employee, "The Narrator," as she works to assimilate a time traveling naval officer from the 1800's.

Grab your sea legs and hop aboard!

What is discovered in A Discovery of Witches? In this episode's pick, Jessicunt and K explore the rich universe in Deborah Harkness's first book in the DOW series. Unfortunately for them, their exploration yields disparate opinions. Not the friendship-ruining kind, but still.

Does Diana Bishop have a personality beyond being THE CHOSEN ONE (chosen by Matthew at least)? Does Matthew have normal sperm? And, do the gay aunts ever get their own story? The answer is no. But listen to this episode anyways.

In this episode, Jessicunt and K venture into thefantasy world of Pole Fitness Proprietress Luna DeVour. Luna is an alluring vampire who metes out justice by drinking crooked politicians and policemen dry.

Devour is an easily digestible novella that follows Luna as she leads her exclusive pole dancing coven of female vampires through a time of growing uncertainty as the truce between vampires and werewolves falters.

Check out this episode of DTS to see how Luna navigates the pressures of running a business, solving mysteries, and finding love (or at least some physical loving).

Season 2 opens with Sexy/Dangerous by Beverly Jenkins, a tribute to badass women, Black excellence, nerds, and the Midwest. The good (academic) doctor Adam Gary meets his buff, high-femme protector Max Blake as he works on top-secret research that will change the world—either for the better, if used for its intended purposes, or for the worse, if it lands in the hands of a pro-apartheid South African terrorist group. Max and Adam team up to thwart the white supremacists with the help of some dogs, a community of badass supporting characters, so much sexual tension, and the beautiful Lake Michigan coastline.

This is a high-stakes international romance with a full universe of characters and backstory. According to your hosts, it gets 3/5 underoos.

What do Great White Sharks, high school drama teachers, and a hint of bestiality have in common?

Well, they all swim together in Shark Heart: A Love Story by Emily Habeck. It's not our usual book fare, but buckle up as we plunge into a tale of crushed dreams, fractured hearts, and the indomitable human will to survive.

We promise it's safe to dive in!

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman is not a smutty series, but it is packed with teenage angst and yearning, the building bocks of a classic slow burn. Fortunately, there are no 500 year-old immortals picking up humans 481 years their junior.

Jessicunt and K read and discuss volumes 1 and 2, the beginnings of queer power couple Charlie Spring and Nick Nelson. Despite these two being the youngest protagonists the hosts have met so far in this podcast (thankfully), they’re also the most mature, loving, and authentic.

Romance is alive and well, and the kids are alright. Sorry for the mic issues, the hosts are not alright. They are fan girls too worried about fictional relationships to check their audio.

Read Throne of the Fallen if you're into Fae, magic, werewolves, bargains, and strict societal gender roles.

Listen to this episode if you want to hear reactions to everything from blood orgies to charming art stores.

In this Sapphic installment of Down to Smut, Jessicunt and K meet Lucy and the Countess, women of science and art, who are brought together to write and publish a translated science text. The prejudice of men may be a motivating factor for friendship, but it's the gravity of their affections that keep these bodies in each other's sexy orbit. And while the women desperately want to show men the power of their brains, they also want to show each other the power of their fingers. Because they love to embroider! Science inspired clothing!

Power dynamics become spicy throughout this queer period piece titled The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite.

In this adventure, Jessicunt and K stumble into a sci-fi hate-mance with horny creatures, zero character development, and occasional tentacles.

Listen in as we talk about what worked for us (nothing really), what we want for our heroine (not a lot), and what tech we need in our lives (definitely the poop dissolving laser).

This is the first installment of the Accidental Abduction series. The characters get off...and we're getting out before book 2.

In their inaugural episode, Jessicunt and K enter the Sarah J. Maas universe to discuss A Court of Thorns and Roses, the first of the ACOTAR series. This is the time of Tamlin, luscious Lucien, Feyre and her filthy fantasies.

Please Note: We know it's the SPRING COURT, we just made a mistake! Growling beasts with boners just have very FALL vibes.

Also, apologies for the audio issues -- episode 2 will be better!