Direct To Video

Episode 103 – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 10:30:00 GMT

This is it. The one that started it all. Disney’s first foray into moviemaking, and the first full-length animated movie ever produced. And it has way more music than you remember. Most of it is bad. Important questions: Is the Evil Queen a stealth feminist icon? Why is the prince so weird, and why does […]

Episode 102 – The Swan Princess: Far Longer Than Forever

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 11:30:00 GMT

We’ve done it. It’s over. We killed the franchise. This is a return to form, imaginary readers. This movie? It’s bad. In fact, it’s mostly nonsense. And we watched it. On purpose. … Number Nine wasn’t even IN it! They didn’t mention The Secret Arts ONCE! Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find […]

Episode 101 – The Swan Princess: A Fairytale is Born

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 11:30:00 GMT

Is Jean-Bob proof that a merciful god does not exist? Discuss. Will this be our penultimate Swan Princess episode? I will not lie, the concept excites me. This is a movie mostly about Derek’s terrible mother, and it’s somehow one of the best in the series. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find […]

Episode 100 – Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 11:30:00 GMT

Happy Holidays! Let’s celebrate with the most morose Christmas movie we could find! Well, the most morose movie with Muppets, at least. And really, what says Christmas like abject poverty? Our theme music is Ukulele for Christmas by Lee Rosevere, whose channel is: https://www.youtube.com/@LeeRosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is […]

Episode 99 – The Aristocats

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:30:00 GMT

Everybody wants to be a cat. But not these cats, specifically. Other, cooler cats, who do stuff.* *This opinion not necessarily endorsed by the podcast as a whole. Programming note: Tony was losing his voice and also his mic was acting up, so his audio isn’t perfect quality. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott […]

Episode 98 – Felidae

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 10:30:00 GMT

Hard to call this one “a romp,” but it might be fun, if you can get over the cat murder. And, uh, the onscreen cat sex. And the casual homophobia. Oh, and the original writer went full “concentration camp” later in life. Got some wacky dream sequences, though! Our theme music is Homeward by Scott […]

Episode 97 – Dinotopia: Quest for the Ruby Sunstone: The Movie

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 10:30:00 GMT

Yes, that’s really the title. No, none of the writing in the movie is better than that title. No, none of the acting is, either. This movie might actually be a crime against good taste, dinosaurs in general, and James Gurney specifically. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! […]

Episode 96 – We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 10:30:00 GMT

This was a movie that Steven Spielberg made. On purpose. In 1993. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s Youtube Channel is Ethical Games Journalism Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 95 – The Rescuers Down Under

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 10:28:00 GMT

Remember those beloved mice from that beloved movie? No? Well, this time we paired them with Crocodile Dundee! The podcast is split as to whether this was a worthwhile endeavor. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s Youtube […]

Episode 94 – The Rescuers

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 11:00:00 GMT

This might be the most tv-episode style movie we’ve seen since Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. Buzz didn’t bring all this romantic tension, though. Those mice are down to clown. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s Youtube […]

Episode 93 – The Plague Dogs

Mon, 26 May 2025 10:30:00 GMT

We watch good movies and bad movies for this podcast, but so rarely do we watch a movie that’s straight-up depressing! But also kind of funny? It’s a strange film, I don’t know what to tell you. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel […]

Episode 92 – Watership Down

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 10:30:00 GMT

Rip to all those emotionally scarred children and the two rabbits who died for no reason. Pour some out. Oh, and, uh, happy Easter? Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s Youtube Channel is Ethical Games Journalism Tony […]

Episode 91 – The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Heads up on this one: Tony accidentally recorded this on the wrong microphone, so his audio is a bit muffled. Still better than our early episodes, but not peak performance. Are you ready for the worst sequel movie we’ve ever seen? A movie where we legitimately wanted the main character to die? A movie that […]

Episode 90 – Secret of NIMH

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 10:30:00 GMT

Back to Bluth! Is that anything? It doesn’t feel like anything, but I’m writing stream-of-consciousness today, so I’m not changing it. What IS the secret of NIMH? Why is there a terrifying necromancer-coded owl? Will little Timmy survive!? Find out. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is […]

Episode 89 – Robin Hood

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 11:30:00 GMT

Time to go down to the American South so we can experience Ye Olde England in all its glory! At least, that’s how the animals tell it… Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s Youtube Channel is Ethical […]

Episode 88 – The Great Mouse Detective

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 11:25:00 GMT

Finally, we watch a movie that asks the big question: how should a framed portrait of your arch nemesis be displayed in your home? Probably other questions were asked, something about Sherlock Holmes and the Disney renaissance and politicians being replaced by robots, but I think we can all agree that this is the important […]

Episode 87 – A Muppet Family Christmas

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 21:59:35 GMT

Another year is coming to an end, and who better to celebrate it with than everyone’s favorite unwanted houseguests? Just watch out for the icy patch. Our theme music is Ukulele for Christmas by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s Youtube Channel is […]

Episode 86 – Balto III: Wings of Change

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 11:30:00 GMT

The absolute gall of this movie to use Roman numerals. We’ve done something we swore we would never do, and finally watched the third Balto movie. But can it hold up to the highs and lows of a wolf quest? Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is […]

Episode 85 – Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 11:30:00 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s the rest of our Halloween episode. Look, we have to do something like this every year or the Krampus will get us. We really enjoyed talking about Haunted Halloween, but that doesn’t stop a near complete emotional breakdown by the end of the episode. So, keep your ears out for that! Our […]

Episode 84 – Goosebumps

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 10:30:00 GMT

I’ll say it, listener: you don’t have to beware. You are not, in fact, in for a scare. We talk about Goosebumps, and only one of us has read Goosebumps books! Is Jack Black engaging enough to draw Tony in when he has no context for what’s going on, or is this movie just for […]

Episode 83 – All Dogs Go to Heaven 2

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 10:30:00 GMT

I still think “Two Dogs Go to Hell” would have been a better title. I really like this one. We lose our minds a little bit, and the tangents are top tier, ranging from rhino songs to catholic holidays to finding out popular guide dog breeds. Oh, we also talk about a movie. Our theme […]

Episode 82 – All Dogs Go to Heaven

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 10:30:00 GMT

You can tell that a movie is weird when the episode is almost two hours long. This movie has it all: weird fetishy stuff, dogs with guns, murder, denying Christ in your heart, a loveable orphan, just everything, really. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video […]

Episode 81 – Scooby-Doo! and the Witch’s Ghost

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Yeah, that… that’s a weirdly placed exclamation point. Do you know who else uses exclamation points? Tim Curry! (Perfect segue.) We get a lot of good stuff from this move: a small town that tries and fails to be sinister, Scooby and Shaggy being gluttons to a truly unpleasant degree, and the Hex Girls! One […]

Episode 80 – Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

Mon, 27 May 2024 10:55:00 GMT

We’ve never managed a Halloween episode, and we’re not starting now! Join us on a terrifying island where the zombies are the least of your problems! Listen to Andy’s Scooby-Doo impression! Gasp out loud at the monster reveal! Consider that there are more confederate soldiers than strictly necessary for this kind of film. Our theme […]

Episode 79 – Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs Evil

Mon, 06 May 2024 10:30:00 GMT

I’m hating that title more and more as time goes on. Remember when we watched good movies? Well, this time we didn’t. Patrick Warburton is trying his best, Hayden Panettiere was did okay, and Glenn Close is, I’ll say it, asleep at the wheel. Don’t forget to pledge to A Summer of Sci-Fi & Fantasy: […]

Episode 78 – Hoodwinked

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 10:29:00 GMT

I’m sure we’re all just ecstatic to be talking about the most hideous 3d animation ever conceived of again. At least this time, there’s a good story behind it. Oh, wait, I’m reviewing the footage, and I can’t even say that in jest. Welp, here’s a movie. Don’t forget to pledge to A Summer of […]

Episode 77 – Home on the Range

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 11:30:00 GMT

Remember when Disney decided they were going to put their 2d animation out to pasture, but decided to give it one last ride? Well, this is what they made. And it sure was… a moovie. This episode is not as punny as that description would suggest. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find […]

Episode 76 – The Country Bears

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 12:00:00 GMT

This might be the least we’ve ever talked about a movie! I’m pretty sure we only named two characters! I’m also pretty sure Disney is a company full of cowards who won’t let a group of bears play the jug in their terrible movie! that’s right, I’ve got opinions! Strong opinions! Strong, weird opinions! I’ve […]

Episode 75 – Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Well, it’s that time of year again. There’s a lot of Christmas specials on this nondenominational podcast. And this is our second year in a row with Disney shorts! Spoiler: don’t watch this movie. Our theme music is Ukulele for Christmas by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is […]

Episode 74 – The Land Before Time: Chomper Double Feature

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 12:00:00 GMT

This episode we watched The Land Before Time II – The Great Valley Adventure and The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island. One of them held up! You will immediately know which one. In any case, Chomper is the best. No notes on his performance. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find […]

Episode 73 – Bartok the Magnificent

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 11:00:00 GMT

We’re back! And we’re ready and raring to talk about a real boring movie where basically nothing happens for a while and then it’s over. he end. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s other podcast is Time […]

Episode 72 – Anastasia

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 10:00:00 GMT

Time to talk about everyone’s favorite “character who is technically a Disney princess now, but only in the same way that Jack Kirby is a Disney legend:” Anastasia! (Technically this description also applies to Princess Leia and probably a character in Avatar.) We do talk a bit about how Disney owns everything now, and how […]

Episode 71 – Hercules: Zero to Hero

Mon, 29 May 2023 11:00:00 GMT

Wow, it almost sounds like Tony forgot to adjust his levels before recording. Hmm… This episode, we reviewed the one Disney sequel only available on vhs: Hercules: Zero to Hero! Was it a fun romp through a Saturday morning cartoon version of Greek myth, or was it a bunch of cobbled together mythology references with […]

Episode 70 – Hercules

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 11:00:00 GMT

New music, new… season? Anyway, I’m trying a new format in the descriptions. I was bored, sue me. We talk about Disney’s Hercules! It’s definitely a mess, but is is a charming mess or an infuriating one? We… boy we argue on that point. The good news is, we also manage to talk about important […]

Episode 69 – The Swan Princess: A Royal Wedding

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 11:00:00 GMT

The least sexy episode 69 ever. Important questions: What was that twenty minute fake out about? Where is the Wikimedia Zone? Was this whole series Andy’s fault? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony pledging to never watch another of Richard Rich’s trash movies again. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere […]

Episode 68 – The Swan Princess: Kingdom of Music

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 12:30:00 GMT

Oh, no! We watched a terrible romcom and accidentally released it as a Valentine’s Day episode! Important questions: Did the animation get worse? How many movies is this movie? When will law enforcement figure out this tax scam? Keep an ear out for the sound of two people who are well and truly warn down […]

Episode 67 – Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas

Sat, 31 Dec 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Just in case you didn’t get enough of us this year. Important questions: Why are Hewey, Dewey, and Louie so terrible? Are Max and Goofy Codependent? Did Andy… cut out tangents?? Keep an ear out for Tony armchair diagnosing Goofy and Andy condemning us to revisiting a classic series. Our theme music is The instrumental […]

Episode 66 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame II

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 12:00:00 GMT

The bell is a metaphor.

Episode 65 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Frank Welker was the baby bird, oh my gosh.

Episode 64 – Lightyear

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 11:00:00 GMT

We're back! From outer space.

Episode 63 – Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 11:00:00 GMT

A story about a space cop fighting his dad. Important questions: Who will betray Buzz in the final act!? Who is the most nineties character in this movie? Why are the little green men charming? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony talking about Star Wars again, but this time it’s thematic! Our theme […]

Episode 62 – Detective Pikachu

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 11:00:00 GMT

There are a nonzero amount of dogs barking on this recording, am I’m choosing to call that “thematic.” Important questions: Is Harry a cop? Does Pikachu hate cops? How much Star Wars talk did I have to cut? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony each getting obsessive about different twists. Our theme music […]

Episode 61 – Mewtwo Strikes Back

Mon, 09 May 2022 11:29:00 GMT

"Most powerful Pokemon." Yeah, okay.

Episode 60 – The Swan Princess: A Royal Myztery

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 11:00:00 GMT

This franchise has gone on far longer than forever.

Episode 59 – The Swan Princess: Royally Undercover

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 12:00:00 GMT

New year, same old terrible series. I deeply regret returning to this poisoned well. Important questions: Does anyone watch these movies? Why is Spider-Man acting so stupid? What is the worst plan in this film? Keep an ear out for the triumphant(?) return of Number Nine. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find […]

Episode 58 -Aladdin and the King of Thieves

Sat, 25 Dec 2021 12:00:00 GMT

All right, one last time before the end of the year, let’s finish a series. Important questions: Could they have more blatantly gotten Robin Williams back? How racist are the forty thieves? In what myriad of ways does Cassim suck? Keep an ear out for Andy referring to Cassim as a “daddy” and Tony refusing […]

Episode 57 -The Return of Jafar

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 12:00:00 GMT

Reuploaded. Maybe it'll work now.

Episode 56 -Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast

Wed, 29 Sep 2021 11:00:00 GMT

At last: Tinkerbell dies.

Episode 55 – The Pirate Fairy

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 11:00:00 GMT

This episode was pretty badly desynced until recently, but it’s fixed now! Back from hiatus and better than—oh, no we’re still in Neverland! Important questions: What does pixie dust do? Is science evil? Does Zarina wanna make out with Captain Hook? Keep an ear out for the potential genocide of the winter fairies. Our theme […]

Episode 54 – Secret of the Wings

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 20:11:20 GMT

Those winter fairies can GET IT.

Episode 53 – Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 20:37:12 GMT

Fairies killed science.

Episode 52 – Atlantis: Milo’s Return

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 11:30:00 GMT

Nothing says “we created a wondrous magical country” like “let’s immediately leave.” Important questions: Why is Mole the hero of this movie? Is Kida the villain of this movie!? Is Sweet even in this movie!?!? Keep an ear out for World War I, just around the corner. Our theme music is

Episode 51 – Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 06:00:00 GMT

Andy thought this would be a fun movie.

Episode 50 – Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Fri, 25 Dec 2020 06:46:21 GMT

Merry Christmas! Here's another Halloween episode.

Episode 49 – Van Helsing

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 22:15:33 GMT

Our Halloween Episode! Happy Thanksgiving.

Episode 48 – Black Panther

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 17:35:59 GMT

All right, I’ll just say it: I’m not proud of how long it took to edit this. Important questions: What’s the importance of a black superhero? What does this movie take from other movies, and does it improve those themes? Is everyone okay this year? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony believing that […]

Episode 47 – Tarzan & Jane

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 23:40:14 GMT

I am just so tired.

Episode 46 – Tarzan

Wed, 10 Jun 2020 01:11:56 GMT

I’d like to apologize for being almost comically unable to do actual work for the better part of a month, but here’s the episode — Tony Important questions: Is Phil Collins a good performer? What is the theme of this movie? Who’s Clayton? Keep an ear out for questions of racism and feminism that are […]

Episode 45 – Belle’s Magical World

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 21:59:23 GMT

In which a feather duster thinks a candlestick is having sex with a human.

Episode 44 -The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning

Sun, 22 Mar 2020 16:44:51 GMT

In which King Triton is a dick.

Episode 43 – The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 18:29:42 GMT

It is no longer hotta' under de water.

Episode 42 – The Little Mermaid

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 22:53:29 GMT

Look at this stuff! Isn't it neat?

Episode 41 – Tangled: Before Ever After

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 03:55:44 GMT

What do you MEAN I can put an extra joke in the excerpt!?

Episode 40 – Tangled

Wed, 22 Jan 2020 06:30:56 GMT

If we're only doing one movie, why is the episode so long?

DVD Extras Episode 50 – More of a Feeling than a Flavor

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 16:24:04 GMT

Or: a weird sexy suicide cult.

Episode 39 – The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale & Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today

Sat, 14 Dec 2019 02:34:51 GMT

This is technically our holiday episode. Happy holidays, we got you these terrible movies.

Episode 38 – The Muppet Movie & The Great Muppet Caper

Tue, 12 Nov 2019 19:42:59 GMT

Time to find that rainbow connection! Join us as we chase our dreams of stardom with some of the most lovable and relatable characters in the western canon. Important questions: What is the most exciting cameo in these movies? Why are the Muppets always poor? Why would your brother join you on a date? Keep […]

Episode 37 – Addams Family Values

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 06:33:52 GMT

Time for an extra-long Halloween episode! Let’s pretend that was on purpose, and not us completely failing to keep track of all of our wasted time. Important questions: How long does it take to forget the name Uncle Fester? How gladly would we feast on those that would subdue us? Why do we keep coming […]

Episode 36 – Babe: Pig in the City

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 22:07:46 GMT

Remember when talking animals movies moved in waves through theaters packed with children? Good times, unless we decide during this episode that they actually weren't. Important questions: Is Babe wearing a wig? How many pigs does it take to cast a major motion picture? What happened to all the sheep herding? Keep an ear out for Andy discovering that Elrond plays a dog in this movie and Tony feeling uncomfortable around sheep. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 35 – Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light & Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions

Tue, 17 Sep 2019 22:48:59 GMT

If you were worried you'd never get any insight into one of Tony's legitimate childhood obsessions, THEN GOOD NEWS. Important questions: Why would someone be buried with all the tools needed to kill them? Why did Seto Kaiba build a space elevator? In what way has Kaiba become the worst person? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony taking a deep dive into Kaiba's anti-magic business meetings. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 34 – Leroy & Stitch

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 00:00:38 GMT

Ohana means family, and family means we couldn't leave these movies behind. Important questions: How old is Lilo? Why does Hamsterviel exist? Doesn't the Grand Counselwoman have more important shit to do? Keep and ear out for Andy and Tony NOT talking about the Stitch! TV show, because it's frankly too much for them to handle. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 33 – The Lion King 2019

Tue, 13 Aug 2019 00:56:39 GMT

We’ve talked about The Lion King a lot. We’ll probably talk about it again. But this time!? This time we’ll talk about it in three dimensions. Important questions: How much uncanny valley are we dealing with? Why is Shenzi SO evil? What are the difficulties of actually recording in a room together? Keep and ear out for Tony getting mad about Be Prepared and Andy getting excited about Beyonce. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 32 – The Jungle Book (2016) & Mogli: Legend of the Jungle

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:42:57 GMT

Sometimes a story is so good, it just needs to be told. Over and over again. Forever. I guess. Important questions: Why is everything so wet? Is Kaa a god? Why give the animals human faces!? Keep and ear out for Andy and Tony pitching Ben Kingsley and Bill Murray buddy movies. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 31 –Aladdin 1992 & 2019

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 21:56:16 GMT

Tempers flare as Andy and Tony come out on different sides of a remake debate and try to balance magic and animation against cool flips and a more accommodating setting. Important questions: What is a diamond in the rough? Is Aladdin amoral? How destroyed is the Sultan's brain? Keep and ear out for Andy fawning over Robbin Williams and Tony calming down after half an hour of yelling. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 30 – Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure

Sun, 09 Jun 2019 08:42:00 GMT

“Second star on the right, and straight on 'til morning.” We knew how to get to Neverland. It takes only some pixie dust and very clear directions. But as the crescent island appears on the horizon, I wonder why we have chosen to return. Again. Important questions: Which one of these fairies is Lucy Liu? Why are there no baby fairies? What use is romance in fairy society? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony for once not being the target audience for something. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 29 – Dinosaur & A Good Dinosaur

Wed, 22 May 2019 23:34:48 GMT

Ah, the terrible lizards. As children, we see dinosaurs as wondrous, almost mythical beasts. So how come the greatest children's entertainers consistently fail to make decent movies about them? Important questions: How much violence against children can be put into a children's movie? How hard is it to bury an apatosaurus? Where are all the female characters? Cards on the table: there was about two hours of content cut from this episode, wherein we talked about anything other than these bad movies. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 28 – An Extremely Goofy Movie

Thu, 09 May 2019 07:08:16 GMT

Father/son relationships are hard. Do you know what else is hard? THE X-GAMES. That's right. We're getting very mid-nineties/early-oughts this episode. Important questions: Who is Max's mom? What happened to Roxanne after the first movie? Is Max Cool? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony trying to convince you that lying is good. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 27 – Bambi 2: The Great Prince of the Forest

Wed, 03 Apr 2019 21:18:51 GMT

Are you ready for our most tangent-filled episode yet!? Because these movies were so boring it was very hard to stay on topic. Important questions: Why does Andy hate Phil Collins? Where is the plot? Is Bambi art? Keep an ear out for Tony getting distracted by Alan Tudyk and Andy forgetting Groundhog Day exists. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 26 – The Swan Princess: The Mystery of the Enchanted Treasure & The Swan Princess Christmas

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 01:02:18 GMT

Yes, we were impeded by a hiatus. Yes, we had to watch these movies twice. And yes, this whole thing might be a tax scam, BUT STILL THIS SERIES HAS NOT MANAGED TO KILL US, NO MATTER HOW IT TRIES. Important questions: Whatever happened to Katja Zoch? Should Rogers and Uberta sleep together? How does Derek keep getting worse? Keep an ear out for Andy waging a private war on Christmas and Tony stopping the show to talk about Aladdin's dad. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

DVD Extras Episode 49 – The Things That You Want Are Actually Bad

Sat, 02 Mar 2019 02:43:18 GMT

Important questions: What is Andy's game of the year? Has there ever been a good King Arthur movie? What does Tony think of mystery novels? Keep an ear out for Tony forgetting the name of his game of the year choice and Andy having some radical opinions on what makes someone a “main character.” Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events

DVD Extras Episode 48 – One star off for the surveillance state

Fri, 14 Sep 2018 02:53:27 GMT

We showcase the full range of human emotion this week: Excitement, confusion, anger, nostalgia, confusion, sadness, confusion, that kind of bittersweet feeling you get when something ends, and confusion. Important questions: Will what we do matter in a thousand years? Why would you name a black character Jefferson Davis? Will we start a beef with James Patterson? Keep an ear out for Andy having strong opinions on Spider-man and Tony having strong opinions on cartoons, surprising no one on either side. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 25 – The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Tue, 28 Aug 2018 02:57:26 GMT

Join us as we journey to—I'll just say it—the most underwhelming fictional country we've been to yet. If you like being in Europe but never seeing any European landmarks, then this is the movie for you. Important questions: What is the neighbor's deal? When is an appropriate time to flee from your royal heritage? Why is Joe so cool? Keep an ear out for Tony getting mad about a fictional high school and Andy waxing poetic about Chris Pine. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

DVD Extras Episode 47 – Sipping on an Alcohol

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 02:16:41 GMT

We have climbed out of the respective pits of Hell we'd found ourselves in these past few months (surely the only possible reason we had for not releasing episodes) and take a quick hour to catch up. Important questions: What kept us for so long? Do people still get excited about airplanes? When will we talk about The Princess Diaries? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony being pretty bad at remembering how they end podcasts. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

DVD Extras Episode 46 – Podcasting From The Windy City

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 21:30:13 GMT

It's been a while since our last DVD Extras, and we're sure you missed our meandering conversations that nevertheless eventually end up being about Mark Hamill or Marvel movies. Important questions: What's up with Andy's audio and will be be able to fix it before the next full recording? Should you go to bars and ignore everyone? What's the line between science fiction and magic? Keep an ear out for Tony inadvertently burning any potential bridge with Audible and Andy raving about Midwestern accents. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 24 – Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch

Wed, 16 May 2018 03:26:18 GMT

Were you afraid you wouldn't have RAISED STAKES today!? Were you afraid of using a part of your seat other than the edge!? Were you afraid of not watching a beloved Disney character DIE!? Important questions: Is creating a new life form unethical? What are you without a past or something to destroy? How many men has Cobra Bubbles killed? Keep an ear out for Tony feeling emotionally manipulated while Andy has a dramatic death scene. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 23 – The Wild

Wed, 25 Apr 2018 08:14:16 GMT

This is probably the closest we've come to teetering on the edge of madness and definitely the worst movie we've ever watched. It's also Andy's fault. Important questions: How many ways can we distract ourselves from having to relive watching The Wild? What does it take to define Madagascar as “the better movie?” Do you remember good movies? Keep an ear out for Andy developing a psychosomatic fever while Tony descends into fits of mad laughter. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 22 – Prince of Egypt and Joseph King of Dreams

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 19:57:08 GMT

We had scheduling, mechanical, and dogmatic problems with this episode BUT WE DID IT, ANYWAY. YOUR MOVE, MOSES. Important questions: How many sphinxes did the ancient Egyptians build? When is the right time to kill all of the firstborns? What's that weird beard thing? Keep an ear out for 6,000 years of religious tension that is occasionally cut when one of us mispronounces something. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

DVD Extras Episode 45 – She’s Got Them Dude Bones

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 21:15:02 GMT

We put some rails on this episode JUST SO WE COULD GET OFF THEM. Important questions: What do we do about sexist bone experts? What's happening in 2D animated TV? What makes a good ad? Keep an ear out for Tony revealing a dark movie-based secret and Andy not understanding why nobody's talking about this Earhart business. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 21 – Mulan 2

Wed, 21 Mar 2018 02:53:32 GMT

Let's get down to business. We all know Mulan saves China, but can she save China...TWICE!? Stay tuned. Important questions: What was Mushu's childhood like? Will we be hunted down for exposing the conspiracy off Disney storytelling? Why is Shang so useless when fully clothed? Keep an ear out for Tony and Andy both trying to talk about foot binding at the same time, which was honestly not a creative direction we thought this podcast was heading toward. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Direct to Video Trailer: The Real Criminals

Fri, 16 Mar 2018 02:30:03 GMT

Five minutes of people yelling about bad movies. What more could you want? Music used is More on that Later and As I Was Saying, both from Lee Rosevere's Music For Podcasts 4.

DVD Extras Episode 44 – Fawning Over Michael B. Jordan

Fri, 09 Mar 2018 02:47:37 GMT

You should probably skip this one if you still haven't seen Black Panther. And probably Thor: Ragnarok. Important Questions: Is W'Kabi T'Challa's best friend? What makes Killmonger a good villain? What's it like watching a Marvel movie with good female characters? Keep an ear out for Andy challenging the Internet to fight him and Tony making a joke he knows won't work. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 20 – Fievel Goes West

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 01:37:37 GMT

All right, pardners. YEAH, I SAID IT. Time to hop a train and start a new life in the old west! Are you ready for action? Music? John Cleese? I know I am! Inportent questions: What is An American Tale's weird race problem? What is Fievel Goes West's much more commonplace race problem? Who are the real criminals of early America? Keep an ear out for Andy trying to start a people's revolution and Tony getting distracted by the Statue of Liberty. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

DVD Extras Episode 43 – An Exercise in Narcissism

Fri, 23 Feb 2018 03:30:08 GMT

A late episode! Proving that we are, in fact, still alive. You can't take us down that easy, Douglas. Important questions: What is difficult about being a creator? Is it hard to talk about nothing? What is a pierogi? Keep an ear out for Andy's Subtle through-line of rage and Tony's opinions on fanfiction. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here and here.

Episode 19 – Cinderella 1, 2, and 3

Thu, 08 Feb 2018 21:55:29 GMT

That's right, we took down a trilogy this week! THREE MOVIES. ONE OF THEM WAS GOOD. IT'S NOT THE ONE YOU THINK. Important questions: What is the canonical timeline for Disney's Cinderella trilogy? Should Cinderella be a bit more of a bitch? Does the Fairy Godmother exist out of time? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony's big pitch for Cinderella 4: Army of Two. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

DVD Extras Episode 42 – Andy is a Love Guru

Wed, 31 Jan 2018 01:34:06 GMT

Everybody loves love, right? You all love to love love, which is good because we really get into talking about various types of awkward crushing situations and romantic comedy anime. Important questions: What should you do when you have a crush on a friend? What separates a good romantic anime from a bad one? What's most important in a girl (who's trying to save you from a fire)? Keep an ear out for Andy spilling possibly friendship-ruining secrets and Tony getting really mad about Romeo and Juliet. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

Episode 18 – Lion King 1 1/2

Thu, 25 Jan 2018 21:23:39 GMT

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase. Important questions: Are the opening lines of "Circle of Life" in Swahili? (They are not. They're in Zulu. Don't @ us.) What makes a good fart joke? Can Rafiki teleport? Keep an ear out for Tony waxing poetic about Fiddler on the Roof while Andy continues to push the "season 2" thing. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

DVD Extras Episode 41 – Season Two

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 23:35:39 GMT

In our first recording of 2018 we talk about all of the things we're happy about from last year. It was a bit of an uphill battle. Important questions: Did we spend our New Year's Days wrong? What do we want out of the next year? How do we become better artists? Keep an ear out for both Andy and Tony talking about their disgusting bodies. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

Episode 17 – Scrooge and A Muppet Christmas Carol

Fri, 05 Jan 2018 05:25:42 GMT

That's right, it's a Christmas episode! I spit on your insistence that "schedules make sense" and "it's already 2018." Ptui. Important questions: Why does A Christmas Carol have such staying power? Can Andy and Tony keep up with a different style of podcasting? How savage should the Ghost of Christmas Present be? Keep an ear out for Andy's vicious Muppet slander while Tony says "tonally" like thirty times. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

Christmas Update

Mon, 25 Dec 2017 04:03:57 GMT

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, all! You'll notice I didn't say happy Candlenights. This is because I have restraint. This is just a quick update to assure you that we're not dead quite yet.

Episode 16 – Swan Princess 2: Escape From Castle Mountain

Thu, 14 Dec 2017 21:32:39 GMT

I swear to God that's the real name. Important questions: Is this movie series a tax scam? How many times can a prince almost kill his girlfriend? Why did they move into that castle!? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony deteriorating into gibbering insanity as they listen to a minute of the "No Fear Rap." Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

DVD Extras Episode 40 – Ball’s in Your Court, Disney

Sun, 10 Dec 2017 00:08:48 GMT

In a sort of scattershot approach to podcasting, we talk about Thor: Ragnarok, Justice League, and Star Wars. As well as ourselves. Important questions: How despressing it the The Justice League exists as a mediocre film? Who is Alan McGregor? What are our best episodes? Keep an ear out for Andy getting all up in Disney's face and Tony sheepishly plugging fanfiction. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on the Internet! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats Tony's comic is Inspired By True Events You can read Tony's Pokemon fanfiction here.

Episode 15 – The Sword in the Stone & Quest for Camelot

Thu, 30 Nov 2017 07:17:07 GMT

We sincerely hope you listen to this podcast to hear the sound of grown men's brains unraveling over a bad cartoon. What other reason would you have? Important questions: How long did Tony spend researching a transformed squirrel OC? How dead is Sir Lionel? How uninspired are Garrett and Kaylee as characters? Keep an ear out for Tony writing colorful insults toward a kids' movie while Andy shamefully admits to liking one of the songs. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 39 – Batman, don’t turn to necromancy!

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 15:32:05 GMT

Andy watched The Justice League this weekend, and he has some opinions on this acid trip of a movie. Important questions: How did DC end up making such a clusterfuck? How many bad movies has Jeremy Irons been in? What's Steppenwolf's deal? Keep an ear out for Andy praising the two actors who actually seem to want to be in this movie while Tony makes a hard water joke like three times. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 14 – 101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure

Thu, 16 Nov 2017 23:34:53 GMT

Andy and Tony take a break from their frankly distressing movie choices to get back to their Disney-sequel roots. Important questions: How much does a dalmatian puppy cost? How did Disney get so good at animating dogs? Is Nanny dead? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony distressing each other with their fan theories. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 38 – How horny was J.R.R. Tolkien for Spiders?

Wed, 08 Nov 2017 00:16:39 GMT

This episode we talk about Shadow of War, and by extension, bad video games and bad fan fiction. Also, sexy spiders. Important questions: What does BDSM stand for? What makes good magic? Is there a wrong way to consume media? Keep an ear out for Andy's prepared statement about why video games are a mistake and Tony finally breaking down and yelling about Sailor Moon. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 13 – Batman

Thu, 02 Nov 2017 23:09:09 GMT

From shark repellent to awful misogyny, Andy and Tony explore Gotham city through the lens of two films with the same name and very different themes. Important questions: Has Adam West been to space? How many war crimes had Batman committed? Can Tim Burton make a good female character? Keep an ear out for us forgetting we're doing a Halloween episode for most of the actual podcast. Important questions: Is Seymour a sociopath? Is Audrey better with no character, or a very problematic one? WHO WILL DIE IN THESE MOVIES!?!? Keep an ear out after the show for the sounds of Andy slowly losing it as he watches the infamous alternate ending, cut over an instrumental version of "Don't Feed the Plants." Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 37 – The Yearly Ritual

Tue, 17 Oct 2017 18:25:58 GMT

Andy tells us all of his dark, dark ritual. Not for the fainthearted. Important questions: Why are hobbit feet so gross? Why is Alan Moore's writing so gross? When and how will Captain America die? Keep an ear out for Tony making a very poorly timed joke while Andy spouts some unpopular opinions. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 12 – Little Shop of Horrors

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 22:42:53 GMT

It's October, so let's talk about EVIL PLANTS. We get into the 60s Little Shop of Horrors, the 80s Little Shop of Horrors, AND the alternate ending version! It's like three movies for the price of two! What value you get in this podcast. Important questions: Is Seymour a sociopath? Is Audrey better with no character, or a very problematic one? WHO WILL DIE IN THESE MOVIES!?!? Keep an ear out after the show for the sounds of Andy slowly losing it as he watches the infamous alternate ending, cut over an instrumental version of "Don't Feed the Plants." Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 36 – Some Sort of Destiny Spiral

Wed, 04 Oct 2017 19:52:08 GMT

We're talking about anime! And then Utopias a bit! We have differing opinions about Utopias. Important questions: Why can't Peter S. Beagle publish his fucking book? How many modern movies actually end happily? How many other podcasts do exactly what we do? Keep an ear out for Tony talking about Sailor Moon for like forty minutes while Andy subtly repeats the mantra "It's a good show." Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 11 – Winnie the Pooh

Wed, 27 Sep 2017 22:18:24 GMT

Chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff! Let's talk SHARED CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. Important questions: Which Hundred Acre Wood characters are the most relatable? Why is Owl the best owl? Will Disney ever release a traditionally animated movie again? Keep ear out for Tony professing his love for you while Andy tells sad stories about Christopher Robin. #OriginalPooh #Beejuice Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 35 – Mark Hamill’s IMDB Page

Wed, 20 Sep 2017 22:32:40 GMT

When faced with the choice of whether to cut or embrace the fact that we just read an IMDB page for ten minutes, I made the right decision. --Tony Important questions: Doctors and dentists: do we need them? Remember how good Jackie Chan movies were? How's ol' Alan Tudyk doing? Keep an ear out for Tony and Andy not quite fighting about Alien, but definitely almost doing that. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 34 – The Hidden Half-Hour

Tue, 12 Sep 2017 18:37:10 GMT

After recording thirty minutes of utter depressing crap for our comedy podcast, we scrapped that and started over. What you hear now is A PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES OF THAT MISERABLE RECORDING. Important questions: Wanna hear some opinions on a handful of randomly selected Disney movies? Yeah you do. DO Y'ALL LIKE BONER JOKES? Are we living in a child actor renaissance? Keep an ear out for Andy almost certainly relaying a secret message while talking about A Series of Unfortunate Events and Tony revealing his Anime Mistake. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 33 – This Episode was a Disaster

Wed, 06 Sep 2017 22:24:31 GMT

We were tired, we were uncomfortable, and I think at one point we talked about Tom Clancy. Hope you like train wrecks. Keep an ear out for Andy constantly losing his train of thought and Tony constantly stopping to wonder if they're being remotely entertaining. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 32 – Sexy Lady Spider

Thu, 31 Aug 2017 03:30:57 GMT

Do you hate Nazis and like video games!? Then do we have a podcast for you! Important questions: How exhausted are Andy and Tony about all this Nazi shit? What PS4 games should you be playing? What are some good webcomics? Keep an ear out for impassioned speeches about fighting for human rights and also a real solid joke about millennials. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 31 – Pooping in a Stranger’s House

Tue, 22 Aug 2017 17:28:43 GMT

This episode starts as an anti-capitalist rant which quickly turns into a laugh-a-minute romp fest after a well timed fart joke. Just like my life. Important questions: What's Andy's deal with public bathrooms? What's ecstasy really like? What's up with this picture? Keep an ear out for Tony missing a chance to talk to Alan Tudyk while Andy gets really worried about pooping. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 30 – Batman Used to be Cool.

Tue, 15 Aug 2017 21:44:41 GMT

We continue our talk about Superheroes, which turns into a talk about transphobia and feminism. Our segues are amazing. Important question: "Did you just Iron Mansplain me?" When was the last time people liked Batman? Did you know the Minecraft guy was a piece of shit? Keep an ear out for Tony insulting the world at large while Andy reminds everyone that he really liked Spider-Man Homecoming. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 29 – Compelling Villains

Tue, 08 Aug 2017 19:37:12 GMT

New rule for our next recording: if we start talking about Marvel movies again, I'm hanging up. -- Tony. Important questions: How many interesting villains are in the Marvel movie universe? Should we trust Chris Evans more than the American government? How cool is Black Panther? Keep an ear out for some good old-fashioned swearing at Nazis! Just like Grandpa used to do. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 28 – Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man.

Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:00:09 GMT

Sorry we missed last week! Tony was busy getting his face smashed in. HEY SPEAKING OF VIOLENCE, who wants to hear about some SPIDER-MAN/MARVEL MOVIE UNIVERSE OPINIONS!? I'm assuming all your hands are raised right now. Important questions: Why was Spider-Man 3 so bad? Which Marvel villains are interesting? Can Iron Man be a dad? Keep an ear out for Andy listing off more Spider-Man shows than most people know exist while Tony talks up the quality of ps2 movie tie-in games. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 27 – The AC Cast

Wed, 19 Jul 2017 23:05:09 GMT

Andy and Tony, through forces largely out of their control, record an episode with a good solid layer of white noise. There's also some dog barking. Important questions: Are we going to talk about Doctor Who? Is A Wrinkle in Time like a Twilight Zone episode? Why does Andy love Spider-Man? Keep an ear out for Tony making a questionable joke while Andy dodges explosions. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 10 – Return to Oz

Wed, 12 Jul 2017 17:39:25 GMT

We were gone for a week because of our new magical adventure! We've traveled to magical lands before, but none of them have the charm and luster of Oz! Surely it will be much the same when we go back. Tony would like to blame his sister Annie for both suggesting this movie AND The Film Reroll, and therefore being the driving force behind this episode. Important questions: What's with Glinda's glassy smile? Is Toto the best dog actor ever? Child torture: an acceptable way to start a movie? Keep an ear out for Tony harassing his online friends while Andy admits to liking a movie where a king is blown up by a chicken. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 26 – Active Viewing

Tue, 27 Jun 2017 21:56:11 GMT

You can always tell when we get to the end of a recording session. We go from punchy tired to sleepy tired, and find ourselves on many different subjects. Important questions: Who is anime made for? Which celebrities are also our peers? How can we more actively consume media? Keep an ear out for Tony waxing poetic about another podcast while Andy types on his frankly too loud keyboard. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 25 – Manic Pixie Dream Superheroes

Tue, 20 Jun 2017 18:59:54 GMT

You know, in the Internet age, two people talking about the Spider-man and Thor trailers actually already feels dated. Podcasting is rough like that. Important questions: What's with Doctor Strange's accent? What's a good superhero origin story? Should Tony Stark be everyone's dad? Keep an ear out for Andy spouting sports metaphors while Tony rages against poorly written female characters. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 24 – Carl Doody

Tue, 13 Jun 2017 17:16:55 GMT

It's late and we're punchy. Our conversation goes from Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Dark Side of Dimensions to fears to which one of us will kill the other. Everything you want in an episode of any podcast. Important questions: What do Yugioh characters do when faced with enemies that don't care about card games? Is Andy more afraid of clowns or heights? Who is Carl Doody? Keep an ear out for Tony waxing poetic about old manga while Andy regrets getting him on that particular topic. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 9 – Treasure Planet and Muppet Treasure Island

Tue, 06 Jun 2017 18:04:26 GMT

Do you want high adventure!? Then come with us as we sail through the seas/stars, battle pirates/space pirates, and find treasures untold! And also fight. Like for real. Important questions: Can a poor story be redeemed by fantastic visuals/Tim Curry? Do Muppets lets their jokes go on for too long? Is Long John Silver better as a cyborg? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony getting off track almost as much as they get into a full-on fight about these two movies. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 23 – High School Monster Fighting

Thu, 01 Jun 2017 07:03:26 GMT

Andy and Tony, having spent eight hours talking about Beauty and the Beast together, move onto less controversial topics. Like what the McElroys are up to. Important questions: Do people like listening to us talk about McElroy Shows? Are the Fast and Furious movies good? Is high school just the worst? Keep an ear out for Tony's croaking sick voice and Andy wishing for some good monster-fighting memories. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 22 – Which One Vapes? Disney Edition

Tue, 23 May 2017 08:48:56 GMT

Andy and Tony, at long last, stop talking about Beauty and the Beast, and start talking about what's important: chasing that sweet high you can only get from that good good misty. Important questions: What is horse therapy? Would Beyoncé be a good Rafiki? Which one vapes? Keep an ear out for Tony getting mad about The Lion King while Andy extols the virtues of Donald Glover. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 21 – Kissable Lips

Tue, 16 May 2017 23:08:20 GMT

Y'all remember those sweet, sweet beast lips? All red and full and such? We remember. Important questions: What was Gaston's childhood like? How long has the curse been upon the town? Would Ghostbusters have been a better received movie if it had a different name? Keep an ear out for Andy trying to make a point about remakes while Tony, bafflingly, keeps interrupting him for no reason. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 20 – The Gay Remake Agenda

Tue, 09 May 2017 16:48:06 GMT

We continue to talk Beauty and the Beast, but go off on some of our patented Direct to Video tangents! So there's a little more breathing room. Important questions: What is the point of a live action remake? Is there originality in Hollywood? How do movies treat or mistreat gay people? Keep an ear out for Tony loudly hating Cinderella while Andy tries to remember Sulu's name. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 19 – Waiting Here Forevermore.

Tue, 02 May 2017 20:27:01 GMT

Some day, in some far off time and place, we will finally stop talking about Beauty and the Beast. In the meantime, why don't we talk about witches, abusive fathers, and new songs? Eh? Eh? Yeah, let's do that. Important questions: Did Agatha change the rules? Is Beast the protagonist of this movie? When will Andy and Tony talk about something else? (Not for like another hour. There, that one's free.) Keep an ear out for Tony referencing Calvin and Hobbes again while Andy rags on Agatha's commitment. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 18 – Toxic Masculinity Redux

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 17:37:45 GMT

Remember that time we talked about Beauty and the Beast for six hours? We promise we won't talk about the new live action movie for that long. But we do have opinions. Important questions: What was the first blockbuster? What existential and body horror elements are in the new Beauty and the Beast movie? Is Gaston still a good villain if he's just kind of a jerk? Keep an ear out for Tony talking about half-transformed Animorphes while Andy argues for the competitiveness of pat-a-cake. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 17 – Think Pieces

Wed, 19 Apr 2017 00:18:36 GMT

Millenials, man. Spending their money on video games instead of napkins. Building their rip-off death stars. Refusing to write a third example in their podcast description. Important Questions: When was the last time you experienced something that completely and wholly appealed to you? Why does sci-fi have so much bad dialogue? Why is this episode missing quality editing? Keep an ear out for Tony waxing poetic about the horrors of AIDS while Andy plays Persona 5. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 16 – Concurrent Evolution

Tue, 11 Apr 2017 07:46:42 GMT

Picture living on a planet that is so close to other planets, you can look up and see life developing on them. Just think about that for a second. We did. Important questions: Why didn't we spend this whole time talking about seven newly discovered Earth-like planets? How did we miss Mark Hamill? Is there a good novelization? Keep an ear out for Tony doing visual gags while Andy talks about killing God. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 8 – Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

Wed, 29 Mar 2017 08:43:18 GMT

It is with both excitement and pain that we present you with this, our magnum opus. We were doomed to peak so early. What started as a way to coincide our podcast release with the release of the new Beauty and the Beast live action movie became so much more. It became six hours of our lives. Plus time for editing. There's a lot of podcast in this one. Pace yourself. Important questions: What various psychological tortures has the beast fallen prey to? Why is Gaston the way he is? Is the enchantress supposed to be good? Special bonus question: How far can Tim Curry carry a movie on his own? Keep an ear out for Tony realizing with horror that Lefou is a person while Andy discovers the finer points of the enchantress's cruelty. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extra: Beauty and the Beast Teaser

Tue, 21 Mar 2017 06:16:18 GMT

Not-for-real episode this week, but you'll like what's there if you're a fan of two people tearing into problematic plot points. And if you don't...I'm not sure why you're listening to us? Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 15 – Dying a Thousand Times

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 19:51:05 GMT

This week, we get real. We talk about various forms of art and their power over both the consumer and the artist. We talk about how growth and change can mean abandoning a certain definition of yourself. We talk about Wolf Quest again. Important questions: What constitutes a masterpiece? Should you abandon important things for other important things? Will we ever stop talking about other people's podcasts? Keep an ear out for Andy getting deep and philosophical while Tony talks about the mermaid he saw. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 14 – Batmbmbam. mbmbatman? We’ll fix the title in post.

Tue, 07 Mar 2017 04:22:54 GMT

Batman and the McElroy brothers are our most common talking points, possibly behind Star Wars and casual racism. So this will be, if nothing else, a comfortably familiar episode for our listeners. Important questions: Is Batman too damn emo? Should you watch Batman Forever? Can you call the Knights Templar? Keep and ear out for Andy and Tony both subtly angling to become Lin Manuel Miranda's best friend. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 13 – Andy’s Fireside Chat

Tue, 28 Feb 2017 20:41:08 GMT

Join your hosts as they hastily record a podcast episode in the middle of the night, with spotty Internet, one of them from a car. This is the glamorous world of podcasting. Important questions: What does a poorly run pet hotel look like? How do you burn some bridges? How does Andy record his half of the podcast? Keep an ear out for Tony actually adding something in post while Andy slowly freezes to death. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 7 – Brother Bear 2

Tue, 21 Feb 2017 09:31:29 GMT

Remember last week, when Tony got really unnecessarily worked up about bears? WELL NOW YOU'LL KNOW WHY. Join us as we venture into the deep past, to a time when the mammoths still roamed these lands, to hear a the completely boring and pretty pointless pair of stories. Woo. Important Questions: How many older Disney movies did these films straight-up steal from? How gross is it to watch a woman and a bear fall in love? Are dogs like small bears? Keep and ear out for Tony railing into some wedding scenes while Andy laughs at a sitcom joke. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 6 – Balto 2: Wolf Quest

Tue, 14 Feb 2017 08:41:33 GMT

In our first review of a non-Disney movie, we fall into the pit of despair and misrepresentation that is Balto and Balto 2. On the other hand, that does mean we have a podcast episode titled "Wolf Quest," so that's pretty cool. Important questions: Why do we talk about race relations so often? Why did they make Balto half wolf? Why do bears keep popping up in these movies? Who is Wolf Jesus? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony aging rapidly as the result of having to watch and review a bad, bad movie. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 12 – Accidental Heroics

Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:39:19 GMT

We can only assume that if you're still listening to this podcast then you really love hearing us talk about race and Star Wars. Well DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE FOR YOU! Important questions: How removed is the wizarding community from their non-magical counterparts? How do you write a story that people like without knowing why? Who Finn gon' fuck? Keep an ear out for Tony almost but not quite bursting into song while Andy refrains from talking about his fan theories.

DVD Extras Episode 11 – Penis Physics

Tue, 31 Jan 2017 21:37:51 GMT

That's enough controversial opinions on Batman movies. This week, we talk about how bad Suicide Squad was, which leads to us talking about video game portrayals versus movies, and then historical figures because why not. Important questions: What city did the original Assassin's Creed game take place in? What was the last decent portrayal of Harley Quinn? Are there too many white guys in video games? Keep an ear out for Andy disparaging sexist censorship in video games while Tony gets overwhelmed by his pronunciation of "Quebec."

DVD Extras Episode 10 – Batman v World

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 07:45:01 GMT

We all remember when Andy decided he wanted the wrath of the Internet to rain down on him by claiming The Prisoner of Azkaban was the best Harry Potter Movie. Well now it's Tony's turn, as he rants ad nauseum about Nolan's Batman trilogy. Important questions: What does everyone know about Batman? Why was Batman v Superman so bad? How do you pronounce "Ra's al Ghul?" Keep an ear out for Andy sighing loudly whenever Tony says he doesn't like The Dark Knight, while Tony is quietly surprised about stuff Andy's been mad about for months. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 9 – The Art of Tomatoes

Tue, 17 Jan 2017 07:30:22 GMT

That's enough double-length Rogue One talk for us! Time to get down to the nitty gritty! Time for that REAL TALK that you all listen for. Important questions: Is Disney beginning a new Renaissance? What are Tony and Andy's eating habits? What is art? Keep an ear out for Andy disliking Frozen for some reason while Tony enjoys five seconds of silence. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 8 – Choking on Our Aspirations

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 06:00:48 GMT

Hello, Internet! We have STAR WARS OPINIONS. That's right. Everybody sit down, prepare for some serious spoilers, and listen to us argue about whether or not puns are good characterization. Important questions: Why is Alan Tudyk in every episode of this podcast now? Is the force a religion? Why isn't this a regular Direct to Video episode? Keep an ear out for Andy getting the heebie-jeebies from a dead actor's face while Tony not-so-subtly references Hamilton again. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 7 – Vainly Fanciful Discussion

Tue, 03 Jan 2017 05:43:14 GMT

My dear sister, I have assured that no one will be listening to this podcast by staging a violent disagreement with my co-host in our last episode. The audio file you will find here was meant only for your ears. However, since I know our enemies may always be listening, I have coded your message between talks of even more Unfortunate Events, Jessica Jones, Jack London's writing style, and an unlikely fan theory. It is my hope that you receive this message before our enemies close in. Please send your response to the place where it is still quiet. If you must contact me through mundane means, you can do so on twitter at @theaterbats, or my co-host at @royalty_valens. Our trusted associates who control those accounts can find us. Do not contact Lee Rosevere, the person who wrote our outro music "Theme from Penguins on Parade," as he is being watched.

DVD Extras Episode 6 – The Scholarly Spat

Wed, 28 Dec 2016 03:51:09 GMT

Dear Listener, No doubt you have chosen to listen to this podcast under the impression that it portrays two friends having a lively discussion about something pleasant, like penguins, or those little balls they put in bingo machines. This is not the case. In the almost thirty minutes that this podcast lasts, its hosts talk of such miserable things as child actors, Alan Tudyk, movie directors, and two separate book series in which love, courage, and intelligence is not enough to save one's parents, no matter how desperately you want to ask them about the mysteries surrounding your life. We are sworn to make and edit these podcasts, but you have no such duty. If I were you, I would delete this podcast immediately and find one that doesn't have the music "Theme from Penguins on Parade" by Lee Rosevere as it ends, and whose hosts do not lurk about on twitter at @royalty_valens and @theaterbats. With all due respect, Tony Robusto

Episode 5 – The Fox and the Hound 2

Tue, 20 Dec 2016 06:46:20 GMT

Are you ready for a good old-fashioned down home country good time? Then have we got a movie for you! Join Andy, Tony, and dog-Patrick Swayze as they wash the bittersweet taste of the first movie out of their mouths with literally the same song sung three times in the same movie. Not counting credits. Important questions: Bears: too terrifying? Are there any two characters that Andy won't mix up? How many happy lines can we ruin with even the most basic of context? What are the physics of the Ferris wheel? Keep an ear out for Andy building his entire identity around mispronouncing the word entourage while Tony battles Hollywood's monopoly on foreshadowing. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 5 – Ocean of Kittens

Tue, 13 Dec 2016 04:27:38 GMT

Time to tackle one of the biggest podcast quandaries: what should our sign-off line be? Astute listeners will notice that despite all the talk, and the goofs, we did not actually use a sign-off line at the end of the podcast. Look, we're new. Important questions: What makes a good think tank? Why does Tony only have one bit? How gay should sports anime be? Keep an ear out for Andy's low, breathy voice and Tony joking just a little bit too much about killing him. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 4 – Heavy Breathing and Pronunciation Guides

Tue, 06 Dec 2016 07:26:11 GMT

After taking a week off for our season break--yes that's the reason I'm going with not that I just didn't get the editing done in time--Andy and Tony embark on another thrilling discussion. About editing. It's not as boring as it sounds. Important questions: How does one do a podcast without breathing? Will Tony kill Andy? What exactly was cut out during the outro? What's Alan Tudyk up to? Keep and ear out for Andy pronouncing words like English is the distant memory of a lost lifetime while Tony says "displeasant" like an unlearned ape. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 3: Fanservice

Tue, 22 Nov 2016 04:56:46 GMT

After three episodes, we finally stop talking about The Lion King Musical. Then we move on to some other topics. Including but not limited to: Hamilton (again) Song of the South The Blair Witch Project Psycho Covering Andy in chocolate Jurassic Park 2 Batman V Superman Clothes and literally the weather. Important questions: did I warn you that we would talk about whatever we wanted yes I did. Keep and ear out for Tony and Andy milking a conversation from a month ago over three weeks like a couple of champs. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 4 – Kronk’s New Groove

Tue, 15 Nov 2016 06:30:00 GMT

It's our first full episode in months! You missed us, we know. To make it up to you, we'll show you exactly how Disney can take their best accident and completely drain it of charm, until it is covered in cheese and working really hard for both pop culture references and the approval of its dad. Important questions: What made Kronk and interesting character? What is with the excessive and creepy dancing? Why does it take Andy and Tony almost a full hour before they start talking about the movie? Keep an ear out for Tony using the word "foil" like eighteen times while Andy laments the loss of his appendix. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 2 – Losing the Plot

Tue, 08 Nov 2016 11:00:57 GMT

Okay, fair warning. Things go a little off the rails this episode. And then a lot off the rails. We live life off the rails. Important questions: What is with these two weirdos having the hot for lions? Should you commit to a visual bit on an audio medium? Topical jokes: always bad? Keep an ear out for Andy being overcome with emotion while Tony gets grossed out by Scar being an old pervert. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

DVD Extras Episode 1 – Stage Presence

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:00:49 GMT

We're alive! And to think you doubted us, LAUREN. To celebrate this crazy little thing called life, we're rolling out a brand new filler podcast! Because it's easier to edit! Come with us as we venture out of the movies and into...LIVE THEATER! *thunderclap* We're doing The Lion King Musical, guys. Important questions: Is it really okay to post a twenty minute episode after being silent for almost three months? Yes. Yes it is. Keep an ear out for Andy talking about this amazing experience while Tony edits poorly. Our outro music is Theme from Penguins on Parade by Lee Rosevere. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 3 – Return to Neverland

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 03:43:22 GMT

Come with us, children, to the most childlike place sometimes on Earth: Neverland! But to return there, we'll need to have been there before, which means we have to watch Peter Pan... This was a bad decision. Important questions: What is the most famous deleted Disney song? Is Neverland a hellscape? What makes a hero—or a villain—relatable? And what is the deal with Captain Hook? Keep an ear out for Andy getting Jane's name wrong so many times he sounds like her grandfather or something, while Tony tries to hide his secret shame. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 2 – Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 03:37:58 GMT

Do you need a change? Life getting you down? Boyfriend just fell off a roof and died? Then you need a vacation! Join us, (and a historically inaccurate Pocahontas) as we journey to a new world: the magical land of England! Important questions: How can a movie about race get so many things right and wrong at the same time? What IS the best boat scene in movies? What is Shakespeare even doing here? Keep and ear out for Tony laughing while Andy groans. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats

Episode 1 – The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 03:13:18 GMT

On our premiere episode of Direct to Video, we review The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. It's a sequel that reaches for the stars, but fails to land among the ancient kings. That was a Lion King reference. There will be a lot of those. Important questions: Is Upendi a good song? Does Zira think Kovu is fireproof? Is Sarabi dead now? Keep an ear out for Andy talking about hot lions like he's got a dark secret and Tony talking about strong female characters like he's overcompensating for something. Find us on twitter! Andy is @royalty_valens Tony is @theaterbats