CRP's Life in Recovery Podcast

Abundance

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:48:41 GMT

Our guest today, Sam, leads us to the grand finale of Season 2! He shares about learning how to trust himself to make positive change now that he’s gotten a year clean. We discuss how many of us used to make changes in our lives due to survival or self-sabotage until it just became normal. We hope for change in recovery to look more like growth, but how do we know the difference? We take a look at whether we’re running from something we need to deal with or running toward improving quality of life. We are learning to redirect the perseverance we had during addiction toward new goals and cope with the feelings that stand in our way. We find that the root of our addiction (even after we’ve put down the substance) is dealing with feelings. If we are using our survival mindset to deal with them, survival is all we get. We do the work to change our mindset, which changes our feelings and actions. Our goal in recovery is not only to gain more abundance, but most importantly, to gain an abundance mindset.

Tool References: Super Powers (Toolkit 1), The Other Side of Fear (Toolkit 1), Our Normal is not Normal (Toolkit 2)

What's on the Menu?

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:48:39 GMT

Our guest today, Jaclyn, has over two years clean and breaks the ice with some humor around navigating dating in recovery! Through conversation we explore our motivations behind sex, relationships, and most importantly the relationship we’re building with ourselves along the recovery journey. Not only are we learning what we’re looking for in others, we’re discovering what it is WE have. Afterall, the other person isn’t the only one who has to bring things to the table in the relationship! We talk about how we end up attracting whatever we’re giving- for good or bad. Beyond dating, practicing intimacy with anyone can be tough, even with friends or a sponsor. We all carry around past negative experiences that our minds have created stories about- “She doesn’t care...He’ll hurt me...I’m not good enough.” These stories often need some updating to make room for new experiences to happen. We discuss how recovery gives us the ability to examine our stories and provides us with the choice of writing a new one. Vulnerability takes risk, but the reward? Connection.

Tool References: Perspective (Toolkit 1), Check Motivation Light (Toolkit 2), Vulnerability (Toolkit 2), Editing the Story (Toolkit 3)

Learnable Skills

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:48:09 GMT

Today, Elyse brings in our guest Arianna who describes her journey with gaining tools in recovery yet having trouble with accumulating clean time. She talks about the “switch” and how there seems to be a struggle between our old self and the one we’re learning to grow into. Elyse describes this as being something that we’re actually constantly doing throughout our recovery journey; there are many layers of surrender and changes that a life in recovery demands. Besides the desire to use a substance, there are other aspects of life that we find new tools to deal with as well, like romance and finance. Awakenings may happen for some in large climactic moments, but they can also be realizations that growth is required in more areas of life. Through discussion, we explore how a lot of areas still have similar basic needs- from substances to sex and relationships to finances- the core needs could really be fun, comfort, security, feeling loved...Luckily, the recovery journey directs us toward letting go of our old coping mechanisms and finding new ways to get our needs met. Arianna points out the importance of having a group of supportive people who can offer us security when we’re still working toward building it within. As we replace unhealthy things with the healthier versions, we learn to fill the void without the chaos. The side benefit? Realizing that the journey of growth is much more exciting anyways.

Tool References: The Switch (Toolkit 1), Core Needs (Toolkit 2)

The Switch

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:47:44 GMT

Tool References: The Switch (Toolkit 1), Core Needs (Toolkit 2)

Hope for Growth

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:47:21 GMT

Today we have our guest Genesis with a year and some change clean. She tells us how giving recovery a try helped her to let go of using, and also gave her awareness to see all the other issues. She identifies some barriers most of us struggle with- procrastination, lack of discipline, and impatience. In our discussion we end up drilling down to the root of these problems such as fear, insecurity, and shame- scripts that affect our thinking based on past experiences. These roots are what we are learning to tackle as they were the same roots that we ended up using over in the past. Although awareness can be painful, Marc points out that when we don’t face it and take positive action, those things will pop up and sideswipe us when we least expect it. On the flip side, we can trust the tools that others in recovery have shared are helpful for them. Some solutions that we’ve found for recovery from substances such as meditation, reaching out to others, and observing our thoughts we also find helpful for all other barriers. As Genesis puts it- I can have hope for solutions to other things because I’ve found a solution to using by hearing others share their own journey.

Tool References: Roots of Use (Toolkit 1), Snow Globe (Toolkit 3), Right Sizing My Space (Toolkit 3)

Creativity, Spirituality, and “Good Enough”

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:46:59 GMT

Theresa, with 45 years clean talks about her recovery journey and taking care of her body, mind, and spirit. She walks us through how she started out- just starting with staying clean, just showing up at the gym, just sitting still for a couple minutes- and how these things evolved over time. She shares her realization of learning the importance of some of these aspects simply by experiencing the consequences of not doing them- the learning curve of life. We talk about the difficulty with some of these big concepts in early recovery and how someone can be struck with awe when trying to comprehend long bouts of recovery when they’re brand new. Theresa puts it this way-sometimes we watch someone who seems to be really good at something and think I could never do that, but it's important to remember that they only got that way from doing it every day. The most important thing is really just to start-not about what it looks like. Remember that the journey has ups and downs but the only way we experience any of it is if we take the first step forward. Showing up is good enough and good enough is the antidote to healing.

Tool References: You Must Be Present to Win (Toolkit 1), Riding the Wave (Toolkit 2), Roadtrip (Toolkit 2)

Better at Feeling

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:46:24 GMT

On today’s episode, our guest Keri gets current about some of the tougher recovery subjects- from doing an honest self-assessment to moving through grief in recovery and mending the wreckage of our past. In our conversation today, we discuss some of the core issues that arise from these experiences and how we’ve navigated them. Through honestly looking at our patterns, we’ve been able to identify the feelings that threaten to endanger our recovery- guilt, shame, grief, resentment, fear...As addicts, we tend to avoid feeling because we want to steer clear of pain but have found that avoidance itself is the problem. We talk about solutions to dealing with feelings so that they no longer rule our lives and how we’ve found freedom by walking through them, together. These tools have helped us make sense of the new life we are creating in recovery and find freedom from the baggage we’ve been carrying.

Tool References: The Double Life, Pressure Cooker, Grieving Your Past, Do You Want to Feel Better or Be Better at Feeling? (All Toolkit Book 1)

Stability

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:46:00 GMT

Our guest today, Seth, tells us he’s just hit his five-year mark in recovery! He shares about coming to a point that feels a lot like stability and maintenance. But what about what led up to that point? The instability, self-will, and damage? We discuss some tough subjects today such as coping with suicidal thoughts and their relationship to addiction and recovery. We also talk about how tools we have learned that worked for recovery have also worked for our mental health and still apply today. Seth puts it well- the first five years are about gaining these tools then we come to the point where it’s all about keeping them sharp. So how do you do that? We talk about how creating community and working on ourselves remain basics but the details blossom and grow. Life continues to hold challenges for us, even in recovery, but when we share what’s honestly going on and accept help, we’ve found that we stand a chance. With the help of others, we’ve learned how to find the tools we need to continue and given the support we so desperately need when we just can’t do it alone.

Tool References: Nothing Matters (Toolkit Book 3), Something Matters (Toolkit 3), Vulnerability (Toolkit Book 2), Communication (Toolkit Book 1)

Right-Sizing My Space

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:45:34 GMT

Our guest, Markus, joins us today to talk about insecurity, loss, and goals. As usual we find that our seemingly unrelated topics actually have a lot to do with each other. First, we throw an idea around- insecurity- and how we believe it shapes the ways in which we show up in the world- needing to appear larger than life, or, on the other end of the spectrum- constantly apologizing for existing...In essence, it’s a need to be something that is anything other than the right amount of space that we take up in the world- a general insecurity that who we are isn’t enough. So how did we get that way? We propose the idea that insecurity is built from painful experiences that have created fears in our lives. When we experience pain and loss we develop fears- fear of being abandoned, fear of not being accepted, fear of being seen....in order to deal with these fears we took on these personalities-maybe we became a perfectionist, acted the victim, or strived for perfection...In recovery, we bring many of these skewed personalities with us, and it may even be astonishing that this is not who we really are! Who are we, then? It may help to identify what we’re attracted to in others, such as honesty and kindness. Maybe it’s getting back to who we used to be when we were a child- brave and curious...We discuss what spiritual principles are and how we can use them to find our authentic selves- courage itself is actually a solution to move through fear, honesty helps us to examine our fears, trusting others helps us believe there’s a way out from the fear. We act on these goals, despite how we feel, and we start to bloom into the versions of us that were meant to be. We stop apologizing for who we are, overcompensating for who we’re not, feeling the need to be perfect, or thinking that we require saving...by acting on our values and surrounding ourselves with those who do the same, we become the people we were always meant to be. Welcome to security, serenity, and joy.

Tool References: Right Sizing My Space (Toolkit 3), My Authentic Self (Toolkit 3)

What is Faith?

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:44:43 GMT

In this episode, we talk about faith and how we’ve utilized it to chart a new course in our lives. If you see the word “faith” and cringe, you’re not alone! Some of us know exactly what that means, and some of us feel lost or angry when the word is thrown at us when we enter recovery. We’ve found that most humans, especially addicts, have trouble letting go of fear to make room for new growth which involves venturing into the unknown. During addiction, the goal was clear- to use, which gave us a pretty clear destination as we charted our chaotic path. In recovery, there’s a lot to figure out and we might have no idea where to go! Maybe we start with some guardrails of things that we feel attracted to such as creativity, honesty, connection, or hope.... We discuss how taking positive action has led us to where we are today, and how making small meaningful changes and receiving guidance helps to light our path even when we can’t see it ourselves. Faith, for us, has been knowing that when we are doing things that align with who we want to be, then the rest will figure itself out over time. If we put our foot forward in a meaningful direction, we stand a chance.

Tool References: Connecting the Dots (Toolkit 1), Letting Go of the Outcome (Toolkit 2), One Degree (Toolkit 2)

Growth

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:44:15 GMT

We are right in the middle of the holidays, and we chat about this with our guest Andrea of 38 years clean in today’s episode. She shares with us which foundational things she has continued to do since the beginning of her recovery such as attending meetings and building a support. She also shares some recent life changes that are in the mix. We discuss how recovery is a continuous process of growth, building on foundational pieces. In fact, many of these same principles have allowed us to get through tough times like holidays: leaning on support, accepting difficult feelings, and getting outside of self through service. One of the greatest gifts that we have found on our journeys is that the basic idea of sitting with others that share a common experience can ground us as we make changes that continue to improve our quality of life. We learn that we have choices today- we no longer have to wait until the box that we put ourselves in gets too close for comfort in order to make positive change.

Tool References: Service (Toolkit 1), Raising the Bar (Toolkit 1) Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone (Toolkit 3)

Perspective and Perseverance

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:44:13 GMT

Our guest today, Gil, is one spiritual gangster! He shares about his difficult experiences of handling the recent death of his best friend due to addiction, preparing to go to prison CLEAN, and rebuilding broken relationships with family. Gil shares about how he’s been working a program while on pretrial for years and now has to take a pause from every wonderful thing that he’s built in his recovery due to consequences of addiction. We discuss how many of us have also been on the other side- powerlessly watching loved ones struggle and sometimes die from their own addictions. Life doesn’t always unfold the way we want, but there is hope; all the hard work of recovery is not for nothing, and there’s nothing more powerful than listening and watching another person in recovery walk through it with gratitude, purpose, and a focus on helping others. Utilizing what’s been taught to us through working a recovery program- seeking out a grateful perspective, using communication skills even when it’s painful or awkward, getting outside of our own heads by being of service to others, having faith in something beyond our own abilities, and staying the course no matter what happens- these things aren’t easy but when we practice them, it can make a world of difference.

Tool References: Loss (Toolkit 3), Editing the Story (Toolkit 3), Transformation (Toolkit 1)

Reality

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:44:12 GMT

It could be said that addiction, in essence, is having an inherent problem with reality and finding ways to escape it despite the cost. In this podcast, we chat with our guest Miranda about how our thinking constantly veers toward escape even in recovery, whether it is through fantasizing, avoiding, procrastinating, or planning means of self-sabotage. We review actions we’ve taken from seeking out values that have a beneficial impact, utilizing gratitude to shift perspective, and creating support despite our inherent struggles to connect. We find that when we deal with reality instead of escape it, we prove ourselves wrong- reality is mostly bad because we escape it. When we take positive action, receive input, and rely on each other, we start creating a reality worth living in.

Tool References: Spirituality (Toolkit 2), Life in the Castle (Toolkit 3), Double Life (Toolkit 1)

Stress

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:44:10 GMT

Welcome back to the Life in Recovery podcast as we kick it off with Season 2! We brought back Nick F, with all his years of recovered wisdom to discuss stress. Nick talks about his stressors of new life changes, fear of success and the unknown. New things can be interesting and exciting yet also stressful since we aren’t sure what to expect. We discuss a theory that when the stressors are greater than our skill set for handling it, that’s when we act out in harmful ways, even in recovery. We share some skills we’ve found to be helpful for handling stress such as asking for advice, identifying our strengths, allowing for mistakes, evaluating the importance of tasks, and disregarding our first thoughts. We also feel that stress is handled better together, and with some laughs! See you there...

Tool References: The Stress Mess, Stress Less (Toolkit 3)

Creativity

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:04:41 GMT

Today we discuss creativity in addiction versus recovery and how it interacts with things like feeling depressed, down, worthless, etc. for us. Barriers to creativity that we identify in this episode are getting stuck in fantasy, needing outside validation, falling into procrastination, comparing ourselves to others, and seeking instant gratification. Through discussion we find that positive perception, confidence, motivation, hard work, and consistency are pivotal to being creative without a substance. Simple right? Not always! It's often easier said than done. We discuss the irony: creativity can be an antidote for feeling depressed but feeling depressed makes it hard to access creativity. For us, finding the motivation and confidence without the substance means setting small goals, taking one step at a time, and pointing out the successes along the way. We can let this consistent practice improve our motivation and confidence to use creativity to crawl ourselves out of the hole.

Tool References: Super Powers (Toolkit 1), Persistence (Toolkit 1), One Degree (Toolkit 2)

Anger

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:04:39 GMT

In this episode, we begin to explore anger- where does it come from? what does it do for us? what happens when it becomes dysfunctional and how do we break free? We discuss how instantaneous anger feels and how that reactivity helps us to survive against external threats and regain control over our environment. Addiction, trauma, or any situation that requires constant survival often creates never-ending anger/stress- we're supposed to use the anger as a catalyst to seek safety but when that doesn't happen it eventually leads to a state of fatigue, hopelessness, and isolation, doesn't it? That energy is hard to maintain! If this is a pattern, it can get very discouraging, then we're left with the core issues of worthlessness, abandonment.... How do we break free? What if we look at when this pattern started? Did I learn to be angry from or because of someone I was around? Did it get my needs met? Was I invalidated and my needs unmet for a long time? When we're ready to change, we have to move away from survival mode- both changing our environment and dealing with our emotions through reflection. Support groups validate these core issues: we're met with love, and provided with solutions to healing the core issues that subconsciously drove our behavior. Does the work feel heavy at first? Hell yeah! It's painful to identify all the stuff that drove the anger- fear, loneliness, abandonment, etc. which was part of the reason that blaming the world often felt easier- Anger allowed us to avoid changing and accepting responsibility for our own lives. But when we do decide to face it and make necessary changes, we've found that the emotional intensity lowers, the work becomes more automatic, and we find freedom from old beliefs.

Tool References: Needs, Function of Emotions, Dysfunction, The System Crashes, and Resetting the System (all Toolkit 3)

Trust the Mystery

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:03:49 GMT

In this episode, our guest of over 44 years clean gives us a glimpse of what to expect in the long haul, the differences he's experienced throughout time, and how working a program progresses from simply achieving freedom from addiction to overall improvements of the human condition. We talk about how addiction is not being ok with what is- I need more, different, now....the grass appears greener on the other side until we get there- it's essentially an obsession with fantasy. When we stop using, some of that fantasy gets demolished, reality hurts and we look for ways to escape. But most of us come to the rooms as our last option- we've already tried to use successfully in tons of different ways and it led us here- where we are surrounded by a bunch of people who love us unconditionally, suggest new things, and reward us for doing the right thing. No matter how we feel, see, or hear things- if we can admit that we need to put trust in the mystery and love that a fellowship provides us- we can find relief from the extreme suffering that categorizes addiction- our guest puts it beautifully- addicts suffer the same problems as the rest of the human population, we just experience it in the extreme. The program offers us a way out of that if we can take the next action that's suggested with even the smallest kernel of hope. Recovery may not provide us with blasts of wonderfulness the same way that a substance did, but with time we build wonderful lives that we no longer have to destroy. Through discussion about the barriers and solutions of entering recovery to the daily living of long-term recovery, we arrive at a similar conclusion- no matter how complicated it gets- staying consistent to following what a 12-step program offers provides us with the solution time and time again.

Tool References: Grass Is Always Greener (Toolkit 3), Do I Want to Feel Better or Be Better at Feeling? (Toolkit 1)

Mediocrity

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:02:53 GMT

Our guest for today- Nick, has been clean for over two decades, so we start our session by asking him to drop some knowledge on us. One of Nick's gems is that "mediocrity is delicious." He expands on this due to our puzzled faces- after all we're addicts- we're special, no we're the worst, no you're the worst, we need stimulation, no validation...what is it? Nick breaks it down for us as simple practices that have enhanced his life and recovery. Staying in one's own lane, self-soothing, avoiding gossip, taking a pause before reacting, finding out more information, talking to experts, avoiding putting our whole lives on public display - this is the mediocrity- the deliciousness? Peace of mind, self-worth, balance, stability, healthy relationships. Join us today in wading through the difference between being self-seeking and selfishness and how simple actions can provide us with the ability to be...well, just be!

Tool References: Editing the Story (Toolkit 3), Check Motivation Light (Toolkit 2), Practice of Gratitude (Toolkit 1)

Toxicity

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:02:29 GMT

Toxic patterns in relationships- romantic, family, or otherwise can cause immense pain even in recovery. In today's session, your hosts Elyse and Marc chat with friend Andrew about our experiences with this issue. We discuss how similar negative relationship patterns are to using substances- addiction to the roller coaster, chasing the euphoria, the relationship to self-worth, fear of change, fantasy thinking and misguided expectations... We explore what it looks like when we're in it, things that we've found helpful along the way, and how to navigate the journey with the help of a positive community that can show us a new relationship with love- for ourselves, and with each other.

Tool References: The Frog and the Pot (Toolkit 1), Other Side of the Fence (Toolkit 2)

Resentment

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:02:26 GMT

As usual, we start our conversation in one direction, land in another, then it all circles back! Today we explore some of the drivers of resentment like low self-worth, then question if self-esteem is necessary first to drive behavior change when behavior change seems to increase self-esteem and reduce things like resentment. Sound confusing and ironic? It is! Let's explore... We start our discussion today talking about resentment- what is it? Where does it come from? In general, we've found that it stems from a lack of resolution of an old issue...we discuss how easy it is to slip into resentment when we aren't practicing honesty and are driven by a lack of self-worth or fear of abandonment- it's so much easier to blame the world than it is to identify the work that WE need to do to break free from the misery. Living in resentment, people-pleasing, avoidance, self-sabotage, seeking toxic relationships, blaming...all these old behaviors keep us stuck in the stories we tell ourselves...we have to learn how to practice new principles to build self-esteem. The irony seems to be that doing estimable things is hard to do without self-esteem, however, we've found that this issue can be overridden with a few things like support, trust, and baby steps. Once we're desperate enough to try recovery, we engage in a program that has a healthy support group- then we can be honest without being abandoned, we see people who have the qualities that we want for ourselves, and we trust that they'll guide us in the right direction. With time and practice, these positive behaviors increase our sense of self-worth and we learn how to do good things for OURSELVES not just for external validation. This breaks us free from the negative stories and patterns that used to define us and kept us stuck...Welcome to freedom!

Tool References: Resentment Amplifier (Toolkit 3), Resentment Resolution (Toolkit 3), Blame (Toolkit 2), and the Learnable Skills section (Toolkit 1): Honesty, Communication, and Service

Accountability

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:02:18 GMT

How do we get through situations that could trigger us? In this session, we start out talking about how to get through pain and surgeries in recovery and find that the solution is similar to the way we get through normal, ongoing life in recovery- with the support of others to keep us accountable. We refer to the tool Accountabilibuddy in CRP's Toolkit Book 2 (p. 31) which is a simple list of five questions to review with a healthy friend on a daily basis in order to stay accountable to various aspects of life in recovery-not just to stay on the right track but also to build consistency that really saves us when shit hits the fan. We've found that the longer we're accountable, not only does it keep us safe from the downhill, justification-ridden road to relapse, but it also helps us to find true freedom in all aspects of our lives and increase our connection to others.

Tool Reference: Accountabilibuddy (Toolkit 2)

From Pain to Change

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:45 GMT

How does behavior change begin? Do we reach a pain point when everything we've done has stopped working or driven us into a corner? Whether recovering from addiction, trauma, or both- how do we move into a place of willingness to get somewhere different? In this episode, we discuss some of the drivers we've found that jumpstart initial change such as other people and outside sources pointing out our damaging behaviors and realizing that these behaviors are no longer working for us. If we find ourselves in enough pain from the endless cycle, can we trust someone or something else just enough to try something new? Ironically, we've found that letting pain motivate positive change, seeking out and trusting positive people, and practicing new behaviors actually help us to satisfy the core needs we were trying to satisfy all along- feeling valid, loved, and enough.

Tool References: Infancy of Addiction (Toolkit 1), Victimized or Victim (Toolkit 1)

Nothing Matters

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:43 GMT

Welcome to early recovery- do good things for yourself even though you don't care about yourself yet. How do we navigate this irony? We talk about the issue that arises when we do feel like nothing matters and everything else becomes an option, including destroying our lives again. So how do we act as if we care? Desperation and avoiding negative consequences can certainly help. We also talk about how many recovery paths encourage engaging with supportive people- most of the time, people who have been where we've been will empathize, trust, love and care for us even when we can't. It's so important to feel valued when we've got broken relationships and don't even care for ourselves. We discuss how we often did have values, but we had to park them underground during addiction. We couldn't afford to do the right thing when using came first. These values can come to life in recovery, and we can start to visualize a destination which helps us decide where to go on the roadmap. Luckily, even if we're still rebuilding old relationships, the support we seek in recovery can help us on the road when we doubt ourselves and remind us that we are worth it and so is the journey.

Tool References: Nothing Matters (Toolkit 3), Something Matters (Toolkit 3)

The F***its

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:41 GMT

It gets real today- sometimes we just say f*** it. Nick talks about how he acted on the f***-its and how he found himself regretting that choice. Why do so many of us get trapped in that early recovery pattern of relapse- the 4- 6 month or so shuffle...get clean, use, get clean, use? We talk about addictive thinking from the viewpoint that nothing is ever "enough"-the reward, the progress, even the feeling of accomplishing goals- and we still have that thinking when we begin recovering... We can get so caught up in "more" that we're left feeling unsatisfied; we may end up digging a hole right before a finish line when things aren't happening as fast as we expect them to. We discuss how perspective and actively seeking out the reward for something that matters to us is so important to avoid the f*** its- the simplicity of exploring the present moment as if it WAS good enough and we ARE good enough to explore it-no matter where we're at in life.

Tool Reference: Self-sabotage (Toolkit 1)

Perspective

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:39 GMT

Here we go again with this routine shit- that's how we think of recovery sometimes, right? Today, we start out talking about how even though consistency is key to recovery, we often get stuck in the perception that it's mundane as compared to the chaos of addiction. Often our mindset is that the grass is always greener on the other side until we get there. How difficult it is to stick with what is rather than what we think life "should" be! As usual, we question each other to seek out solutions to this problem: We talk about both the benefits we've received from being consistent and what we got from taking healthy risks and pushing the envelope. Afterall, recovery is far from boring if we stick around long enough to find out.

Tool References: Escape Plan (Toolkit 1), Clearing Room to Grow (Toolkit 1), Connecting the Dots (Toolkit 1)

Presence, Consistency, and Self-sabotage

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:37 GMT

Today we explore how to make space to sit with ourselves when addiction is the exact opposite- running from the moment, always looking for something different... We touch on grief and how difficult it is for us to get through those situations and feelings- showing up and being present for hard things seems to be more manageable when we've shown up consistently for our recovery regardless of whether life is going well or not. Grief can reframe our experience to remind us of what is important- being able to show up for others, engaging in relationships and creating lasting experiences. We discuss how important engaging in a recovery program has been for guiding us on how to show up- from making amends to being a consistent part of the recovery community. The muscle of consistency strengthens over time- we can take on more and more challenges...but what happens when we feel like sabotaging it? We look at the different reasons that self-sabotage seems to happen- from fear of success, anxiety, self-doubt- and how refocusing on our values, finding hope in others, and changing our perspective helps us through the uncomfortability.

Tool References: Loss (Toolkit 3), Dependability & Consistency (Toolkit 2), Losses and Gains (Toolkit 1)

Relationships

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:35 GMT

In this episode, we talk about relationshipping- both navigating new ones and rebuilding current ones during recovery. Elyse starts us out with the issue of codependency- we've found that as addicts, we tend to try to fill some void within- afterall, our life mission is to feel better! We can still do this without a substance by trying to seek out, fix, enable, or find ourselves otherwise drawn to others that have just as many problems as we do. Nick gives us the flip side example- as many of us have also been on the receiving end of codependency- when someone else tries to fix, save, or control us, especially in addiction. We discuss the roles and drivers that we tend to see in all sides of these dynamics- feeling needed and wanted and a means of escaping pain or discomfort. So, how do we accept find acceptance of pain and care for our own needs? Nick puts it simply- self-esteem is built by doing estimable things. Practicing new behaviors usually have the biggest effect on ourselves and everyone around us. Engaging with a recovery program has helped us to get support through the pain while showing us how to act in estimable ways.

Tool References: Bermuda Triangle of Enabling (Toolkit 2), Escape the Triangle (Toolkit 2), Counterbalancing the Weights of Our Past (Toolkit 2)

Boredom

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:33 GMT

In our first episode of Season 1, we talk about boredom- one of the things we find most difficult to navigate, especially in early recovery. Your humble hosts, Marc and Elyse, are joined by Nick today as we discuss why boredom is difficult, how to address it in recovery and move forward along the path of a life worth living. Some of the issues we've come across when it comes to boredom is how difficult it is to just BE without the constant distraction of addiction- what do we do with all this time and space?! We discuss how to fill this empty space in our lives with new, good things, address our perspective and emotions as we wait for life to improve, and accept reality for what it is- the process of learning to be ok with ourselves. Afterall, if we can get ok with today, tomorrow will take care of itself, right? Tool references: Clearing Room to Grow (Toolkit 1), Addiction to the Lifestyle (Toolkit 3), and Continuous Learner (Toolkit 1)

Introduction to the Series

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 20:01:29 GMT

Welcome to our podcast series Life in Recovery! Have you ever struggled with addiction and wondered how to navigate recovery AND live life? We have too! In this series, we're just a few people in recovery from addiction talking this through- how to apply recovery to our lives one topic at a time. We've found value in the simple discussions of people in recovery with different viewpoints along various points in life. SO our purpose in this series is to provide these perspectives for you here to hopefully inspire or get your mental wheels turning. Your hosts are Marc and Elyse, recovering addicts who created an organization called Choice Recovery Path that provides opportunities for others to find freedom from addiction just as we have. Sometimes our discussions relate to tools that we've made for group discussion based on what we've seen work for so many others in simple (and pretty) worksheet form in our Toolkit Books. If you're interested in utilizing any fresh material or want to learn more, please check out our website @ choicerecoverypath.com or reach out to us to find out how to get involved at marc@choicerecoverypath.com. We LOVE feedback as we know growth comes from hearing about each other's experiences, and we'd love to hear yours!