Backseat Authors

Animorphs East: Animorphs Book 54

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 01:00:00 GMT

Thank you all SO much for listening and being a part of this crazy project!

The Backseat Authors will return! Keep a weather-eye out for our next episode! It's going to be a fun one :)

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Butter My Chest: Animorphs Book 53

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 01:00:00 GMT

So much to cover in the description this week!

This first link is Randy Feltface waving his arms and saying bats:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwz2kfTWGds

All credit for the Hundie Dollar Giveaway theme song goes to the extremely talented Arne Parrot:

https://soundcloud.com/arne-parrott

This link is the episode of Endless Thread with the fruit song at the end (skip to 21:30):

https://www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2026/01/30/hot-fruit-takes

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Is Life A Situation?: Animorphs Book 52

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 02:02:54 GMT

There's now a button on rss.com to tag episodes containing AI content. Joseph would like to say that as with all episodes of Backseat Authors, this episode was produced entirely without AI.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Negative Nessie: Animorphs Book 51

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 02:00:00 GMT

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Aura Farming: Animorphs Book 50

Sun, 15 Feb 2026 03:04:25 GMT

Truly a blast from the past.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Barkdel Test: Animorphs Book 49

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 23:45:54 GMT

All credit for the pre opening credits goes to the one and only John Mulaney.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Hallway Minus Yeet: Animorphs Book 47

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 02:00:00 GMT

Joseph here, yes I know that Book 47 is titled "The Resistance". I was SO tired when we recorded, as becomes immediately evident. Also don't do online gambling.

This episode was recorded on January 20, 2026. The after-credits was recorded on the evening of January 24, 2026.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/144956/emma-lazarus-the-new-colossus

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Womb For One More: Animorphs Book 46

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 02:00:00 GMT

Aircraft carrier facts! We're back at it again doing visual gags on the podcast!

Elliot seemed to have a weird intermittent audio thing that we weren't able to catch until after recording. Sometimes that's just the way it is :/

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Sorcerer's Turducken: Animorphs Book 45

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 02:00:00 GMT

Joseph here, I have no idea why I was being so cagey about the name of the robot comic book I've been reading. It's called Atomic Robo and it's great. Anyway, we're back on schedule this week, and we're back with our sweet, sassy, real microphones and high quality sound. Enjoy our nonsense in the highest fidelity we have!

https://www.atomic-robo.com/atomicrobo

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Previously Aforementioned: Animorphs Book 44

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 03:17:10 GMT

All the hosts, together at last! This one was a lot of fun to record. Joseph read the book on a train, and did most of the editing on another train!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Timmy Windows: Animorphs Book 43

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Happy Holidays!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Podcastiversary: Animorphs Book 42

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 02:00:00 GMT

Wow! It's been a full year of Backseat Authors! Check out our Bluesky account if you want to see what we look like.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Judge Judy Got Involved: Animorphs Book 41

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 02:00:11 GMT

So between last episode and this, Elliot got sick, CJ had to go on a work trip, and Joseph was just kind of vibing. It may sound like CJ recorded his audio in a hotel room on his phone and that's because he did! We were committed to getting an episode out this week! There was also a wonky audio problem for a few minutes toward the end, but luckily we were able to splice in a redundant OBS recording. Plan for problems!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

It's Like Scooby Doo: Animorphs Book 40

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 02:00:09 GMT

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

I Did Once Eat A Magic Card: Animorphs Book 39

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 02:00:12 GMT

Joseph here, apologies for my roomy audio. I just moved to a new place and the podcast recording closet is no more. I’m working on a fix though, and I should be back next week crisp and clear. And yes, CJ does call Cassie Caffie at one point.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Gum? No. Bananas!: Animorphs Book 38

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 02:00:12 GMT

Did CJ loophole the entire series? Listen to find out!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Edge Of Ostrich: Animorphs Book 37

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 01:00:13 GMT

CJ unintentionally made it sound like Cassie shot a cheetah in this book but that didn’t happen. Elliot also doesn’t think that middle-schoolers can read Hamlet. Joseph thinks this book had a message. Listen to hear more crazy takes!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Audacity of the Worldbuilding: Animorphs Book 36

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 01:00:11 GMT

Joseph is incredibly embarrassed that he was so combative in the act it out and that he's writing this in the third person.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

We've Got Some Mermaid Action: Animorphs Book 35

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 01:00:21 GMT

I don't really know how Geoguessr works, but if you want to try and find the map I made it's called "Where's That Salad?"

Sorry for doing a visual game in an audio medium :( If you want to skip past it, Where's That Salad wraps up (food pun intended) at 1:10:30.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Mercator Projection Has Ruined Me: Animorphs Book 34

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 01:00:21 GMT

Joseph did not get a dragon :(

We play a long game early on in this episode. If you want to skip it, we pick the book back up at around the 34 minute mark.

Sorry about the ad, Elliot kind of just wanted to see if Joseph would read it. Joseph does not agree with a single thing in it and was mainly curious if he could read it in one take.

Ygor:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/FX4WrEbrkSs

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Hampy Capper: Animorphs Book 33

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 00:33:54 GMT

Do Andalites sweat? Why does Visser Three like Lead Zeppelin so much? These are just some of the many questions we have this week.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Make Your Move Casserole: Animorphs Book 32

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 01:00:14 GMT

We're back and so is K.A.!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: The half of CJ who seems to always have the episode title

Elliot voiced by: The half of Elliot not bitten by his cat

Joseph voiced by: The half of Joseph with a deep sultry voice

I Envy Your Carbonation: Animorphs Book 31

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 01:00:15 GMT

"The team turns into large creatures, as they oft do." -Elliot

Destroying The Old Lie: What Makes a Film Truly Anti-War:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr_Ouytl9Ws&t=33s

Dulce et Decorum Est

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46560/dulce-et-decorum-est

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

I’ll Swiss Miss That Isthmus: Animorphs Book 30

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 01:00:11 GMT

This week, CJ and Elliot do their best Creed Bratton impressions while Joseph educates all y'all about leafy delicacies.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Playing The Hand Bone: Animorphs Book 29

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 01:00:18 GMT

We would die for this podcast. Skip to 6:35 if you want to hear what medication CJ is taking.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Brax Tass: Animorphs Book 28

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 01:00:15 GMT

In this week’s episodes we really dig deep into These Messages. If you’re seeing this episode released on time, know that it was recorded on a Thursday night, and edited frantically in three different states on Friday.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Cruisinator: Animorphs Book 27

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 01:00:21 GMT

Geoff Goldblum and Danny DeVito, together at last.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Pyramids Are Big: Animorphs Book 26

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 01:00:20 GMT

So I understand now that "closest without going over" should only apply to most games in the event of a tie. No need to email me about that. *<]:{)

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Your Tips Made Me Sad: Animorphs Book 25

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 01:00:10 GMT

This book is the spookiest one we've read so far!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Dr. Flavius Splishman voiced by: Dr. Flavius Splishman

I've Definitely Seen Deer Sleeping: Animorphs Book 24

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 01:00:14 GMT

Who knew there were so many kinds of spaceships!? Even small ones! In this episode we open the bits jar and spill it everywhere.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Mac and Cheese is a Salad: Animorphs Book 23

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 01:00:19 GMT

It's more bird boy blues as we discuss Tobias' biases and learn more about his backstory. It's out of this world!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Entire Free Bird Solo: Animorphs Book 22

Mon, 26 May 2025 01:00:14 GMT

CJ tries to rewrite the book in this one, but we don't let him!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Give Us The Pizza Pope: Animorphs Book 21

Sun, 18 May 2025 13:00:24 GMT

Predictably, this episode is more off the rails and intense due to the content of this book. You have been warned.

The thing that Elliot said to look up was, in fact, not a good thing to look up. I have saved you all from it.

This is the video about the drone in a truck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niqeCL80W5g&t=307s

If the link isn’t working the video title is “Will a Drone Be Pushed Backwards Inside an Accelerating Truck?” by The Action Lab

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Dolphins Have Infinite Legs: Animorphs Book 20

Mon, 12 May 2025 01:00:16 GMT

The saga begins! We're so young and naive in this episode!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Does a Cow Have a Soul?: Animorphs Book 19

Mon, 05 May 2025 01:00:22 GMT

In this episode, CJ sounds like a sociopath when he explains how he plays Avalon, but I promise he’s not! (He manipulated me to say that.) Also, I think the movie Elliot was talking about is called Vivarium.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Life Is Different Now: Animorphs Book 18

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 01:00:19 GMT

I think we might be the next Beatles.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Doing the Reverse Gandalf: Animorphs Book 17

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 01:00:24 GMT

This episode is nuts! Also, Elliot didn’t google any of that stuff about Armadillos. He just knows all that.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

A Cat Named “The Rhino With Paul Giamatti”: Animorphs Book 16

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 01:00:29 GMT

This week we surf the information superhighway at 38,400 bps. SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE. You've got mail!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

It 100% Might Be: Animorphs Book 15

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 01:00:22 GMT

In this episode of Severance, Mark S reconsiders all of his life choices. Mark S is a shark in this case.

"Terrifying Tunnel of Sharks" sting provided with the permission of Wolves of Glendale, who are probably the best band ever. If they had Captain Planet rings they would combine to become a haunted 33-year-old who's lost their horse.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

A Goat Has Never Had Salad Dressing: Animorphs Book 14

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 01:00:10 GMT

I could swear I've seen an episode of Scooby Doo that went just like this one...

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Mad Maxing in the Jungle: Animorphs Book 13

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 01:00:30 GMT

And a Hork-Bajir to you sir!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

No One Ever Questions the Second Llama: Animorphs Book 12

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 02:00:20 GMT

The gang gets reckless again as we definitely don't make a Crocodile Rock parody song...

(Also, I know, it’s a John Mulaney bit. How I thought a bombastic bit wasn’t his I’ll never know.)

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Inducing a Sharknado: Animorphs Book 11

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 02:00:14 GMT

A real change of scenery: Jake's living room!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Quid Pro Crow: Animorphs Book 10

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 02:00:13 GMT

All I’m saying is the movie “Chappie” came out in 2015, and this book came out in 1997, so you do the math.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

High-Fiving a Short and Tall Person: Animorphs Book 9

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 02:00:20 GMT

This definitely isn't a Tobias book, but it basically is. Wolf Facts!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Watching Movie Trailers and Eating Globules: Animorphs Book 8

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 02:00:11 GMT

This week the title means something!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Not Dr. Dolittle: Animorphs Book 7

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 02:00:09 GMT

This week we go back in time...to the future! Then god shows up and proves that you need feathers to fly.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Fly Me to the Poo: Animorphs Book 6

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 02:00:15 GMT

This book is entirely about Juan and Terry, Yeerk basketball superstars.

Reverse Oprah: Animorphs Book 5

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 02:00:15 GMT

It's Deus Ex Horkina as we experience the viscerality brought forth by subsisting only on a strict diet of milk and M&Ms.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

God Whale: Animorphs Book 4

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 12:04:15 GMT

In this ocean adventure which distinctly lacks an octopus, we learn that if you know how to morph, you know how to swim too.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Jake's Attic Surf Shop: Animorphs Book 3

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 01:54:22 GMT

Dig deeper with us this week as we ride the thermals, discovering even more about the ACU (Animorphs Cinematic Universe).

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Drink Some Bourbon and Apologize: Animorphs Book 2

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 12:42:15 GMT

Wow it's already time for book two! This one gets weird, and so do we.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Ratatouilled from the Inside: Animorphs Book 1

Sun, 15 Dec 2024 03:37:33 GMT

We had no idea what we were getting into. So young and innocent. There are 53(?) more of these.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Golf Rules: Backseat Authors Animorphs Jeopardy

Mon, 11 May 2026 01:00:00 GMT

Back for a limited time! CJ put a lot of work into this one!

Link to the Jeopardy board:

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1y_4sorVPe6KAuqHMfrDaPFHmBVuoh5obRFw1E7X-Z4g/edit?usp=sharing

Something else:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-azpNkFZs1Q

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Doom On My Cat: The Ellimist Chronicles (Part 2)

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 23:49:00 GMT

Finally! This took so long to edit that you can disregard what I say at the end about how long it will take to edit the next episode. Probably longer than a week, but not longer than this one (I hope). Keep an eye on the Bluesky account for updates :)

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Two Years Per Ear: The Ellimist Chronicles (Part 1)

Sun, 22 Mar 2026 18:59:45 GMT

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

That's Jazz, Baby!: Animorphs Book 48

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 02:00:00 GMT

A long form discussion about the Pope.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Obsidian Fish: Megamorphs 4

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 02:00:17 GMT

The icebreaker is back!

Get your Mason Mead merch here:

https://www.redbubble.com/people/The-Sketchy-Guy/explore?page=1&sortOrder=recent

Due to several factors, there's a good chance we won't be putting out an episode next week. Dont' worry, if that happens we'll be back after Thanksgiving!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Spooky Surprise

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 05:00:58 GMT

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

I've actually never read this poem in its entirety before this. See y'all on Sunday with Episode 38!

The Ol' Neapolitan Human Trifecta: Visser

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 01:00:14 GMT

This is a long one! The next few weeks are pretty difficult for the three of us scheduling-wise, so we will be taking a short hiatus. Never fear! We will be back on October 19th with book 36: The Mutation!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

BUECP: Animorphs Episode 1 Part 1

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 01:00:09 GMT

This is the first ever episode we're releasing under the BUECP (Back Up Episode Contingency Plan). We'll be back next week with Book 30!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Flippy Tuesday: Megamorphs 3 Part 2

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 01:00:13 GMT

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Fierce or Cherry: Megamorphs 3

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 01:00:16 GMT

As promised, a great bit about time machines:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riKJRyexnOI

At 7 minutes in you'll learn a lot about time machines. Definitely R-rated though, you have been warned.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Welcome To Hoarders Anonymous: The Andalite Chronicles

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 01:00:31 GMT

The Andalites sure are chronicled. Apologies for Elliots audio! I had to remove so much noise from his A/C unit running, so he sounds like he’s inside a tin can when he talks. I did my best, but I’m no audio engineer. I do wear Sony MDR7506 headphones so that I feel like one though.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Min Minuel Mimanda: The Hork Bajir Chronicles

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 01:00:12 GMT

Watch out for the ad in this episode! I mixed it a little louder than usual (:

Did K.A. Applegate write Face Off? Is Nicholas Cage/John Travolta her husband? We don't know!

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Fiddler Crab On The Roof: Megamorphs 2

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 01:00:16 GMT

Yes, the Chernobyl accident took place in April 1986, not in the 60s as we insinuated. Also, the book Elliot was talking about toward the end of the episode is “All Yesterdays: Unique and Speculative Views of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Animals” by John Conway.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

Credulence: Megamorphs Book 1

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 01:00:12 GMT

Rachel gets amnesia and learns nothing.

Cast:

CJ voiced by: CJ

Elliot voiced by: Elliot

Joseph voiced by: Joseph

The Pod Will Return!

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 01:00:13 GMT

October Santa voiced by: Joseph